Stitch Paradise...

Resolution 2011

2011-01-01T13:36:00.000+08:00

Well, this seems to be a habit that might protrude itself annually.
As to remind myself not to repeat any unwanted happenings n bad habits.
So, there it goes :

My New Year Resolution 2011!!! ~

Do :
1. Understand parents feeling more, what they do is always for my own good.
2. Come home more often to accompany them.
3. Study well
4. Appreciate people who is worth for me to appreciate them.
5. Give up those unscrupulous kind.. stay away from them.
6. Stay healthy n positive!
7. Keep faith.
8. Respectfulness & Loyalty
9. Strong & Tough
10. More forgiven
11. Improve my EQ *higher priority*
12. Know who to be with.

Don't :
1. Drink too much coffee & any kind of caffeine beverage.
2. Go out alone
3. Stay up late
4. Scared of dark
5. Trust people easily.
6. Judge a book by its cover.
7. Pay anymore concern to the person who doesn't seem to appreciate.
8. Trying to help but end up being blamed by the person instead.. What the hell!
9. Be a stupid.
10. Being told as a freak due to some deep thought.
11. Get bullied by people's words.
12. Bother people who thinks appearance is everything. That is very RETARDED!

Wish I can work harder to achieve all those.
To my heart : Be more tough! Stop thinking silly stuff.

Happy New Year!

p/s : Especially delicated to Amy, Joo, Zhe, and my xiaozi men. =)

真相

2010-12-31T17:32:00.002+08:00

真相？
我比你更想知道。。。
别以为看见的是这样就真的是这样。
告诉你，
我已经被弄糊涂了。。。
还是那句，
我只相信自己的直觉，
谁要说什么随你们吧。。。
我不会有任何意见，
说完了就请走，
别再来打扰我的生活。
我真的不需要这样的朋友。
真的是朋友吗？
认识了太多太多假惺惺的人，
已经麻木了。

It's gonna end

2010-12-29T15:50:00.002+08:00

Speaking of holidays..
Yea... true.
I enjoy myself very much.
Without doing anything useful,
I still can feel the joy of it.
Hanging around with frenz.
Family, relatives...
Longing to see them,
Miss them when they are gone.
What a life!
Filled with emotion.
That's human i guess.
My pandora box is much more complicated than I've doubted.
Never had I thought I can get through these real fast.
Haha... thanks wei. =)
Feeling sad at the same time...
After checking PBL grouping of sem4.
Curious that somehow de class has reduced again.
Can't recall who is not in...
Finally a knife just stabbed me.
Sigh!
I dun wanna lose anybody...
Do hope we can stay together n get the certificate on the same day..
No matter what..
This is just my little wish.
My little faith is telling me kept holding what is true n justice.
I won't give up.
Won't betray myself to fall into the valley of sin again.. Never.

Sem 3 has come to an end.
A real ENDing...
No more books for me to kill off my time in holidays..
No more music, dance n opera...
Kind of down...
But I'll keep going.
Keep holding my passion in what i really wanna do. =)

p/s : I miss u, xiaozi men... =D

Tomorrow is always exciting!

2010-12-04T17:31:00.004+08:00

There it goes!
Congratulation to ah boon n huanqian for passing ur exam!
Hooray everyone...
And so far my s'pore trip has come to an end.
Again, at Johor...
I have no idea what my life will ever leads to.
Hope that boredom doesn't manify itself.
As I hate to stay at home alone, reading novel n doing nothing else.
Hiking? Where to go?
I love hiking, jungle trekking but there is oways no companion to go.
Some friends of mine like to shopping.
Some are super duper hyperactive but I'm not the type.
I guess I'm moderate.. Not too sporty nor homebody.
Arh!
What to do then...
Ehm ehm ehm...
Okay, so far I will just helping dad n mom do their stuff in dis week.
Interesting plan HERE I COME! =D

2010-11-09T12:20:00.004+08:00

以下是我死党之一所写的肺腑之言，看了我不禁有感同深受的滋味。。。这篇名为事实的部落写的很写实。 =)

事实~

有时不知道真相比知道完全的真相好，是逃避，也是保护自己的办法。当我回想几个月前发生的事时，没想到，我居然能够如此的平静，能够说的好像在说别人的故事一样。学习了，成长了。周围的人，谁才是那一个可以信任的，我不知道。因为那一个你信任的人，随时，都可以是让你落入万丈深渊的人。伤害的，不仅仅是我而已，而是更多更多似乎不相干的人士。

不要埋怨，不要责备。谁都没有错，而是成长的时间到了。就如我常说的，没有乌云密布，没有倾盆大雨，你岂知道晴朗的美好，岂知道彩虹的美丽？乌云已经散开了，彩虹已经呈现了。阳光虽然耀眼炙热，但我却享受其中。

有些时候，不管你如何解释都于事无补。唯独时间，能够证明一切，唯独时间，能够还你一个清白。历史，不会再重演。因为，我拒绝再让它发生。当我看见一切就快失控的时候，我就会让一切来到终点。在你们都不知道的时候。到时不要问我为什么。为了我想要保护的人，我能够做出一切你们想象不到的事，即使我已伤心欲绝。

曾经和小子们说，长大了，找不到像你们一样的朋友了。周围的人，会背叛你，会重伤你，会耍心机，会利用你。但是，我相信仍然有那么几个，是我真正的朋友。他们是谁，只有我知道，天父，必定也了解。今晚，忽然想起了这一切，虽然感慨，却更感恩。因为我知道当我能够很平静地说出我的故事时，代表我已经康复了。

如果我不能捍卫我们的友情，那么我宁愿选择在我们的感情更深厚之前，放弃。不因为什么，只因为我害怕伤害你。=)

谢谢缓倩小子的文章。 =P
遇到了种种问题，知道该来的总是会来，怨不得人。
从小家里就教育我别太执著去和别人争执，如果别人真的误解了你，
解释再多也徒然。
就这样，反而变成了被别人欺压的借口，
有些人总是有办法让别人相信自己所说的话，
天生的好口才，你怎么说也说不赢。
说服力在这社会真的不容忽视，
就在这一生中所见识到的东西看来，
有些人连死的都能说成是活的，
让群众都信服。。。
我想这样的人真的值得鼓掌。。。
她告诉我，
如果要别人相信你的谎言，
你自己就得相信它是真的。
说真的。。我做不到。。。
睁眼说瞎话，良心真的过的去吗？
可能有些真的觉得没什么吧。
小子们，
说真的，我已经找不到像你们这群知心朋友了，
这让我更加懂得珍惜你们。
你说的对，
谁都没错，只是长大的时间到了。
无论是谁对谁错都已不重要了，
我任然相信做了错事的人是会有自食其果的一天。
就算一辈子都没法让自己懂，
也是自己没福报去看到自己的错来改过罢了。
祝福你们会看到那一天。。
看到自己的错而有机会改过。
我看见了我的。。。
你们呢？
所以请别在不知情的情况下把别人的努力都当作废墟。
时间真的能证明一切，
大家都不小了，
不需在幼稚下去了。
好好珍惜被赐于的头脑，
让自己有冷静的判断力，
不是盲目地信于路人甲的吹嘘说辞，
相信自己的直觉，
作为能好好保护自己的屏章。
人生只有那么一次，
你，好好过了吗？
无常。。无常。。。无常啊。。。

绝望~

2010-11-06T16:03:00.002+08:00

怎么我的头脑又不听话？
我想要快点专心读完，
可是怎么那么没办法啊？
救命！
真的没时间了。。。
你是不是想说再见啊？
不是就别在头痛了。。。
帮帮我。。
就快点健健康康~
Focus focus!
别在想那些。。。
加油，
彦子，
你不能让妈咪担心你。。。
记得记得。。。

"Good" Luck?!

2010-11-05T23:53:00.002+08:00

This would be a sleepless nite for me.
This time it isn't about studies..
Partly yes,
But... I can't explain the feeling now.
I got so freak out.
It was the first time in my life I've experienced this.
In my own house...
It's too scary...
I still can feel my heartbeats..
It nearly pumps out from my mouth.
It happened when I was studying in my own room with the door open,
Then I saw a shadow walked by the corridor and entered my housemates' room.
By that time I really thought it is amy.
Then I shouted "Amy!"
But Amy's voice came from the dining room.
She replied "What?!"
A silence took place...
Amy still shouted back, "What is happening yen?"
I didn't reply her.
I was too scared...
Coz I knew it, I knew what I saw...
And it's very clear and I'm 99.99% sure that I'm not hallucinating.
T_T

I knew the shadow I saw is somebody else.
Can't help to stay any longer in the room.
I went out and join their group study.
It was freaking!
And creepy...
I have been wondering why most of my friends always longing to see and feel so excited to see those kind of stuff.
This happen to be a weird feeling to me.
Can't put it properly into words.
Just your body will react spontaneously...
Goosebumps came out and ur heart beats like as if it never beats before.
I wish I can tell him.
But now is very important period for him too.
I guess after exam only I'll be honest to him.
Sorry, just dunwan u to be scared of it and affect ur performance.

Sigh!
I stop myself from recalling back the moment I saw it.
But it's too hard...
I will stay alert the whole nite.
>.<
Okay, continue my revision.
Stitch, accompany me pls...
Too spooky.... T_T

From,
petrified yenzi. >.<

The gift of Life is the life itself

2010-11-04T17:18:00.003+08:00

T_T
Stitch, I'm here again...
As u know...
I have wasted my day again in my so-called "de-stress"
Why do I call it a de-stress?
Coz I was about to plan n rest a day as I've told u yesterday.
And yea right!
I slept at 1am n I ended up woke up at 10.30am!
Slowly enjoying my breakfast n watching some movies,
Half a day gone..It just gone like it can teleport without I ever realising it.
Damn!
I could have restricted myself not to switch on my lappy..
Once it is there,
I just can't resist.
Just like Amy's famous quote,
I can resist everything... Except TEMPTATION.
Oh Day,
Can u give me one more chance?
Nah, I've been silly again. >.<

Okay,
Escape from reality for a while.
I've gained myself some weight.. 1kg in 2 weeks time.
No choice...
I have a bunch of crazy food scavengers friends!
Whenever hanging out with them,
We never stop eating...
We can have lunch, dinner n dessert all 2gether in 3 hrs time.
Scary huh?!
Nope..I dun think it is for them.
And I think I've been influenced too.
Now I can finish my food myself..which is a pretty good news to dad n mum.
They oways nag me for wasting foods.
Mummy pappy! I'm not de yenzi as before lor. XD
Craving for good n delicious food is my new adapted hobby now.
Woohoo~

Kay, time back to REVISION.
I'm just gonna bear with it for a week,
And I'll be freed! From a living hell.
And back to my Malcolm, Kaka, Beibei...
I miss u all.
Life is too quiet without ur bark.
See u soon for everyone I miss dearly here.

With love,
Yenzi.

A sneak out from REVISION

2010-11-03T20:26:00.005+08:00

Stitch,
I have so much to tell~

Finally there is some intervals to rest before starting another hardcore..
Arh...
But I'm only allowed to rest half a day.
Slept like a dead sheep just now. =.=
Stupiak question.
I hate you!
Slept for 2 hours n the consequence is still the same.
Regret for not sleeping longer..
Super headache now.
And environmental chem doesn't seems to be appealing.

The house is all in a mess.
Need to clear out some time to do a thorough cleaning before the house turns into a rubbish dump.
Have a sudden urge to clean every dust n microorganism in the house.
I dun like sticky and dusty house... T_T

By the way, thank u for giving me strength.
U gonna work hard too.
I trust u can do it.
The good luck charm works on me I guess. =)
All the best in ur coming exam.
(p/s : Eat more kay... Dun just know how to nag on me. ) =P

I miss out Halloween.
Saw their photo albums makes me feel like it's a big lost for not going to join the FUN!
I remembered when I was studying in library,
The music strayed my mind off to 4th floor. >.<
It's okay, I can organise a small Halloween nite in my house next time. =P
Theme is "don't try to look scary" Ghost feast XD

Time to sleep again.
Trying to be a polar bear again.. Hibernate! XD
Oyatsumi nasai. Blekk!

Love,
Stitch.

Running mad

2010-10-24T13:39:00.003+08:00

Really suffering...
So many lectures to finish.
It's a bit damn too lot!
Can't seem to memorise all of them.
Not even a module..
How i wish i can..
I tried n tried but why still can't store in my permanent memory?
Do i still have time?
Arh!
Microb memorising...
Pharm analysis memorising...
Natural product memorising...
Drug metabolism, pharmaceutics, envt. chem everything..
Sigh!
T_T

2010-10-07T11:48:00.003+08:00

当你在乎一个人的时候，你会经常的有事没事地去查看他的Facebook上的资料，甚至能背得滚瓜烂熟；
当你在乎一个人的时候，你会想方设法的从侧面去关注他的一切，包括他的生活和他网上的踪迹；
当你在乎一个人的时候，你会在上MSN时只要听见有人上线的声音就会马上看看是不是他，否则会坐立不安；
当你在乎一个人的时候，你会在看见他的MSN上线以后马上让自己的MSN也亮起来，即使你习惯隐身；
当你在乎一个人的时候，你会为他退去你头像的光亮，即便此时你正光芒四射为众星所捧；
当你在乎一个人的时候，你会喜欢上听她所喜欢听的歌，学着玩他喜欢的游戏，那种快乐远远大于游戏本身；
当你在乎一个人的时候，你会把生活中一点点小事都告诉他，即使是没有什么意义和价值；
当你在乎一个人的时候，你会有意无意的去帮助他，希望他比你好却不想让他知道；
当你在乎一个人的时候，你会在你拿不定主意的时候去寻求他的意见，然后像听圣旨一样的听从；
当你在乎一个人的时候，你会时不时的在他面前耍些小性子然后再等他来哄你，即使平时的你从不耍小性子；
当你在乎一个人的时候，你会在他没有表现得很在乎你的时候感到郁闷甚至生气，虽然你知道你们还只是一般的朋友；
当你在乎一个人的时候，你会原谅他所做的一切事情，即使是你最不能容忍和曾经发过誓的；
当你在乎一个人的时候，你会因为他无意中对你的好而感到无比的甜蜜，甚至可以让你开心好几天；
当你在乎一个人的时候，你会对他的一切都很感兴趣，即使是他写错的字都会铭记不忘；
当你在乎一个人的时候，你会发觉自己的某些习惯已经慢慢地变得向他的某些习惯靠拢了，而这变化并不是你故意的；
当你在乎一个人的时候，你会很喜欢跟他在一起的感觉，不管是单独还是和很多人一起，只要有他在就很满足；
当你在乎一个人的时候，你会在他误会你的时候或者认为你不好的时候，感到世界顿时失去光明，心情也灰灰的；
当你在乎一个人的时候，你会在登上自己空间的第一时间查看有没有他来过的痕迹，如果有留言那更是开心无比；
当你在乎一个人的时候，你会不舍得删掉他给你的任何留言，你会时不时拿出来回味一下，自我陶醉一番；
当你在乎一个人的时候，你会对他所要你帮的任何忙都充满了热情地去做，并且总希望自己做得最好；
当你在乎一个人的时候，你会对他的一些“无理”要求都欣然地接受，而不去管那需要什么代价。

2010-08-29T23:14:00.002+08:00

为什么人总是要相信一人的片面之词呢？
为什么在乎的人反而你越要去伤害她呢？
为什么人与人之间就不能完全互相信任呢？
老天~
你真的忍心让我们生病吗？
你真的不要我们了吗？

2010-08-16T23:47:00.002+08:00

Nowhere for me to shout.
Can I shout here?
ARH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ARH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Again.. ARH!!!!!!!!!!!!
Very very stressful.
Never ending works.
Panting for breath almost everyday.
How long can I survive?
I really have no idea.
Tonnes of works...
Pls...can my brain works more efficient?
I really have not much time left...
*crying*

Sienzation again...

2010-08-15T20:33:00.002+08:00

Stitch!
A good news and a bad news for u.
Just wanna tell the world I'd finish my report!
Hahaha...
Sorry for my stupendous, but i'm really happy with that.

Bad news.... I'm having backache again.
I hate de weather.
Sudden change of weather..arh!!!
Went out to spend $$ again but it's for my food storage.
U can never believe I bought so many milks.
Bought myself a bottle of fish oil as well.
But I can hardly swallow de bigger one.
Having phobia to swallow any tablets or capsules.
Mummy! Why did u deliver such a useless daughter?
Arh... x 2
It's okay.
Doctor asked me to swallow candy daily so that I can cure this phobia.

Recently i'm facing another problem.
But i'm not in it.
So, I really hope u both will be okay.
Everything can be solved kay?
God blessed and all the best to u. =D

Tomorrow is my contemporary class again.
Gosh, I'm so happy! Hehe...
The only moment I can enjoy without having to worry anything is dance!
But my bones are stiff,
The stretching really took my life. XD
Well well...time to gotong-royong.
Buh bye, Stitch~ Muaccks... ^^

*hugss*

2010-08-15T12:16:00.003+08:00

Due to my boredom yesterday staying at home the whole day without even stepping out from my door, I decided to go out to satisfy myself haha.
Texting a few friends to find some companions but they were all occupied.
Finally, a message replied and told me she gonna go somewhere instead.
But then I succeeded in persuading her to go Sunway Pyramid with me.
The first step I took in the entrance, I saw IMU students were sitting at starbuck there. Oh gosh, can I just get rid of those IMU-related stuff n people?
Anyway, we went Sushi Zanmai hehe.
My beloved n favourite japanese foods.
We really ate alot n I can't believe I can eat that much either.
But it's de most enjoyable day for me since I've never talk to Karen after few months we have separated.
A very spontaneous plan came after that.
We went for movie with pilip n amy later.
Expendable!
A good movie but it's kinda violent I should admit that.
18 PL gals~ XD
Nah nah nah...
It's already 11.30pm when de movie came to an end.
We took a cab back to vista.
After taking a nice, hot shower I went to bed.
Regreting for not doing report before going out.
By de way, I miss u!
I'll always be there whenever u need me. Promise! :D

2010-08-13T21:31:00.004+08:00

I admit,
I'm a person who scared of loneliness.
But the more scare I am,
It comes to me more often.
Now,
I'm at home again.
Keep saying goodbye to my friends.
Some went for a nice movie,
Some went swimming,
Some went back hometown.
I'm all alone.
='(
I force myself to sit down n start to revise chromatography.
But my mind strayed to somewhere else.
I miss my friends..
Miss u guys badly.... T_T
Stress stress stress.
Don't really feel like studying.
When I dance de notes are there waiting for me,
So I sit down again.
When I sing de notes is waving at me,
So I'm gonna concentrate again.
Jiu Ming ar...
Can I swallow all my notes?!
Scared of the coming test n de unknown future.
Nah,
People will say I think too much again. ='(
But but... I tend to think more when I'm alone ar.
Can't help it. >.<
Okay... loneliness don't come to me again pls..
I want a Stitch!
So that I can hug him when I'm alone. T_T
Arh..don't know what crap I'm talking about now.
Should go study then.
Buh bye...
..................

By,
Lonely Yen.

2010-07-15T12:50:00.001+08:00

我是笨蛋。
很难过。。。

2010-06-25T01:00:00.002+08:00

Your past is only working to remind you
how far you have come,
not how many mistakes you have made.

2010-06-19T01:35:00.003+08:00

Everything will fade through time..
I want to believe that.
I don't expect anyone to understand how hurtful can that be to hurt someone u don't know them well enough.
I don't have to explain.
I can't control what others wanna think about me.
I won't let the bad thoughts follow me to the grave.
I'm learning to accept and don't take it in mind.
It doesn't mean I'm wrong.
It's just that I want no argument.
I want to maintain what I've found in friendship.
But somehow mankind made me disappointed.
I make no regret.
At least I'm learning another issue.
Another new chapter in my life.
Till the day I will say...
"Do u know that friendship is as fragile as glass? "
It breaks once it falls.
I can't reverse the falling,
The falling doesn't caused by me.
But I'm responsible for it.
Being drag into the bottomless pit.
Trapping inside.
Because I want no war.
It's alrite to keep staying quiet without making clarification anymore.
Like I said,
Take it as a life long learning.
I might face this maybe thousand times in the near future.
Take it as a training.
Pray for all.
We are all learning to respect each other and how not to hurt others.
May U makes us see clearer and don't keep falling into the valley of sin,
May U makes us treasure the important things in life before we lost it.
May U grant me a wider heart to accept every hurts and sorrow.
May U keep prejudice, selfishness, disloyalty etc back into Pandora box.
May U makes everyone understand the meaning of love and have faith in it.
May U makes every child be filial to their parents, every friends care for each other, no hatred between individual, no ill-speaking,backstabbing, physical abuse, the everlasting true love between couples, kindness and gentle of human, sacrifices for the good.
Remain the good soul in human~
I know human are incomplete,
I know I've demand too much.
I know that is not going to happen.
But that is just in my dreamland.
Once I wake up,
The ugly world is still there.
It's only me myself to make sure I'm not running wild with the world.
People, remember that..
You are responsible for urself.
Never blame the world because it is you who cause it to fall seriously ill.

God blessed~

当我老了

2010-06-17T22:56:00.002+08:00

当我老了，
不再是原来的我，
请理解我，
对我有一点耐心。

当我把菜汤泼到自己衣服时，
当我忘记怎样系鞋带时，
该想一想当初我是如何手把手地教你。

当我一遍又一遍地重复着你已听腻的话时，
请耐心地听我说，
不要打断我。
还记得你小时候，
我不得不重复那说过千百遍的故事，
直到你进入梦乡。

当我需要你帮我洗澡时，
请不要责备我，
还记得小时候我千方百计地哄你洗澡的情形吗？

当我对新事物新科技不知所措时，
请不要嘲笑我，
想一想当初我怎样耐心的地回答你的每一个“为什么”。

当我由于双脚疲劳而无法行走时，
请伸出你年轻有力的手来搀扶我，
就像你小时候学习走路时，
我扶你那样。

当我忽然忘记我们谈话的主题时，
请给我一些时间让我回想，
其实对我来说，
谈论什么并不重要，
只要你能在一旁听我说，
我就很满足。

当你看着老去的我，
请不要悲伤。
理解我，支持我，
就像你开始学习如何生活时我对你那样。
当初我引导你走上人生的路，
如今请陪伴我走完最后的路。
给我你的爱和耐心，
我会报以感激的微笑。
这微笑中凝结着我对你无限的爱。

读了这篇文章后，我真的很心酸。。
他们的心声，
老豆，妈咪，阿嫲，
我不会抛弃你们，
我爱你们。
无论现今的社会已经病到什么地步了，
我还是希望每个人都珍惜所拥有的人、事、物~
别再让世界病下去了。
珍惜所爱，别再恨，别再怨，
别再病下去了。。。
我应该还继续相信人间有爱吗？

2010-06-17T21:42:00.002+08:00

Kick start a new day.
Wow~
Few days doing nothing and a lot of things at the same time.
If playing takes into account then I'm indeed extremely busy. =p
Again...
The feeling of I've never been making use of my long holidays show up themselves.
Why?!
All the blame is pointed to myself.
1st, I'm too concentrating into my emo state before that.
2nd, I started to rekindle my spirit of playing games back.
That is just few days ago... And I'm regret. ( kek sei >.< )
3rd, be a babysitter is not that bad sometimes. =x
At least improve my patience once again.. haha.
Don't think that babysitting is really that fun and easy,
That will be a big No-no.
Besides patience, sense of humour is crucial too. Haha..
They will turn you off when they find that you are not funny enough.
Especially those evil kids these times.
Wonder why even kids transform into more different style through evolution.
Pappy said It's all due to the milk-powder.
Then different formulation should be proposed. Ehem...
Or else worst thing is gonna happen. Seriously..
Not I'm thinking too much.
Every kids I saw is exactly the same super smart and "evil" if you would like to call that.
Even my cousin... =p
2 weeks facing and dealing with kids really drives me mad.
I admit I don't really have a good patience in children.
But the tolerance level is still up to satisfactory.
Sometimes I wish I can just pinch their face when they are naughty,
But I can't...
And again, they are running wilder.. =.="
See!
Corporal punishment is not the right choice but sometimes it has its advantage.
Not saying that you must wield the cane and spoon out punishment,
Just a way that is good enough to scare them. Haha...
Wanna get kids like you truthfully?
Better get more training then.

2010-06-17T12:55:00.003+08:00

如果你的微笑得不到回应，
不要紧。
如果你的礼敬换来了无礼，
不要紧。
如果你帮助别人却不被接受，
不要紧。
如果你的信任换来了背叛，
不要紧。
如果他人不愿回馈你的善行，
不要紧。
如果真的做到了，
你就走在“德” 的大道之上。
你的怨言，失望和受伤，
都源自于你自己的私心。
无所求地持续。。再持续地在这条大道上迈步~
那么这条大道就会成为“道” 之路。

Silence

2010-06-05T16:37:00.000+08:00

Silence ...
For a good reason.
For a better thinking.
For a clearer mind.
For the unnecessary.
For the hurts.
For a thousand reasons..
The universe.

Soaking into deep thoughts.
Neither good nor bad.
Just think~
And decide the right path.
No confusion.
Decide once for all.
No more sensitivity.
Just keep an eye close.
Keep believing your instinct.
Make no doubt for that.
Use it as a self-defense.
Accept what is done.
Make no regret for that.
Have faith in all,
Even though they've made you lost the trust.
Keep believing and trust no matter what.
Once trust has lost,
No more hope can behold.
Dreadful life engulfed.

Life!
I respect U.
I'm belongs to U.
I don't regret,
And never will.
I'll keep going and going.
Learning and listening to what is necessary.
Keep bad thoughts away from me.
No matter what is true or fake,
Just listen to my heart.
U are challenging yet fragile.
I'll make a stand point.
I won't being slaughtered by the unscrupulous one.
U conquer no one.
We all have faith.

2010-05-07T09:52:00.005+08:00

有时真的很无奈。。。
真的。。
活的好累。
做什么事都要被别人拿来说。
没那个意思经过了人群绕了一圈，
加了种种人的看法，
自己就被判死刑，
可有谁知道你们自己的看法是不是有不稳合的成分呢？
没有。。。
有时真的为这莫名其妙的世界感到可悲。
每个人都希望别人能了解你。
可是总是轻易相信别人的悠悠之口。
一下定论就以为事实正是如此。
上帝赐了一个那么珍贵的脑，
真的是让我们对事情要有正确的判断思维？
可是反而造成了种种的问题。
我怀疑。。。
怎么人都糟蹋了它。
可能人生来就是身存自我优越感吧，
都深信自己的判断，
往往觉得自己是好的是对的，
不经意就把自己对别人的看法直接套用在对方身上，
照着自己觉得“他就是这样的人的啊 ”的方式去对待他们，
连伤害造成了还浑然不知。
还洋洋得意地觉得他就是这样的啊。。。
人真的就是会伤害别人吗？
以身具来的本性真的如此吗？
反而羡慕起动物了，
没有对错。
看了很多。。。很多。
不知道自己哪一天会对别人失望，
知道那个存在的成分慢慢累积，
我知道有一天自己会不再对别人抱有期望，
不再觉得别人应该会明白你处事的意义，
不再理别人怎么看你，
在自己彻底死心的时候，
无论谁对你说了什么话都是“无”和 “空 ”。
跌倒了都知道痛，
谁还会继续困在别人的看法纠缠里呢？
必竟当别人那么想你的时候证明了他们自己就是那样的人格，
所以才会把别人都归类在框框里。
证明了人就喜欢帮别人设计人格。
依照自己的方式去画画，
看见了一个画面一件事情就拿起画笔继续作画，
从来不会想去了解更多，
看得更阔。
没有。。。
本以为爱你的人是不会误解你，数落你，
可是原来一切都从根本开始，
事实真相反，
他/她也会误解，
而且好严重。
因为他/她不够了解。。。
心痛了，
浑然间才知道原来他是最不了解你的人。
他把你说的好坏，
把自己的解读方式传递，
让大家也误解了。
盲目的爱啊。。。我不会再眷恋你。
我累。。。我累。。。我累了。
我心已死。。。。。。。。。。。。

感激一直以来所有我认识的朋友，
谢谢所有的包容，疼爱与伤害。
谢谢你们让我成长与磨练。
家人永远不会那么伤害你，
珍惜身边人吧~

下一站，坚强~

2010-03-21T10:08:00.002+08:00

心情真的好像风，
随它来去自如。。。
心里闷了好久。。
感觉都活在另一个空间，
不知道该怎么和人沟通。
最近都好喘，
心里好闷，
好想不再是自己，
好想记忆消失。。。
每天醒来好希望自己又能再度呼吸顺畅。
大声地笑着对自己说：
我今天又长大了，
别在沦陷在过去。

姐，别担心我。。
我会好好的。。。
咪，别担心我。
我不会让脆弱打败。
给我一些时间，
我会站在你们笑着对你们说：
我好了，我过的好快乐！
其实我都懂，
我知道~
坚强曾经是我的朋友，
可是现在它很遥远。。。
我觉得好吃力，
一直追，一直寻找。。。
我知道我总有一天能找到你。

眼泪别在找我了，
我不适合你。
擦干了你就走吧~
我不想你再黏着我。。
我不再伤心，
我不会堕落。。。
再见了~
一切一切我都送走。。。
不再回忆~

01012010~

2010-01-01T16:01:00.003+08:00

2010 Resolution~

Well, 2009 has finally come to an end.
Why I use finally instead of other words?
It's not bcoz 2009 is not a gud fortune year 4 me.
I'm ready heading 2 a better future.
A year with a new me~
Sayonara, 2009.
No matter how sad I am,
I will send u away.
Bye...

As usual ,
New year signify a new beginning.
I must set up some new year resolution,
No matter I can achieve it or not.

Ehem ehem!

What I should maintain :

Believe what i can do.
Treat everyone as family.
Be optimistic.
Stay as simple as I can.
Unconditional loves to family.
Loves Stitch =p
Happy-Go-Lucky
Never expect too much from others.
Stay as low profile as possible.

What I must do :

Study from de 1st day of semester 2.
Make sure i can finish every assignment on de day itself.
Never prolong works.
Never complain workload, just do it with my very best.
Stay healthy n fit everyday by taking nutritious foods n regular exercise.
Believe in miracles.
See things in a broad n positive way.
Be brave.
Able to sleep alone with de lamp off.
Categorised n do things according to its priority.

Well well well.. I guess dat's more 2be done. Wishing my family n frenz a meaningful year ahead.

Dun worry, be happy~ =)

2010-01-01T15:32:00.003+08:00

All these are my meals during dis prolong holidays~
Some are mom's home cooking, some are unhealthy foods. =p
Bad new is I've gain 0.5kg. =.=

Christmas~

2010-01-01T15:11:00.002+08:00

My christmas dis year is family bbq grill n steamboat.
Family gathering~
Merry X'mas everybody! =)
hope u guys enjoy de day~

Simple day after all~ Cheers! ^^

I can't help it.......

2009-12-11T18:57:00.003+08:00

I admit~
I am scared to be alone.
I always scared to be alone.
2day I'm alone again.
Roommate went back 2days ago.
A day is long like a year~
Every second is damn hard 2 pass~
Help!
I don't want to be alone~
I'm depressed.
Nobody is at home.
No matter how loud de music is playing,
Or how loud de drama series is playing,
I'm still scared ...
Can somebody talk to me?
It's so quiet now.
I can't help not 2 cry.
I hate crying.
I hate de weak side of myself.
When I listen to her voice n listen to his voice,
My tears still dropping unstoppably.
But I hide it ,
I don't really want them 2 know that I'm weak~
Though I really am ,
And I always are~
Why I'm so coward ?
Why I can't stay alone just for a few days ?
Can somebody tell me why ?
I always telling myself must grow up ,
Can't be too dependent~
But I failed~
I FAILED ...
How 2 cease de feeling of scary ?
How 2 comfort myself dun be depressed ?
How 2 stay a night without anybody talking to me ?
I know I'm not independent.
But I really wanna get rid of dis shortcoming.
I really want to ...
Woke up almost 5 times when I slept.
Sense of security is fading away~
I can't help it.
Can't concentrate in studies at all,
I can't help it.
Trying not 2 disturb anybody,
I can't help it.
I really miss u now~
I can't help it ..............

2009-12-03T14:38:00.001+08:00

能不能让泪水停止？

27 Nov - 30 Nov '09 Happiness is just that simple

2009-11-30T16:43:00.006+08:00

27 Nov '09

Early in de morning I'm forced 2wake up due to Solat subur by Muslim. =.="
I wish 2sleep but I can't. *angry*
Dragging my "unconscious" body into de car n off we go to BP.
All de way long, i tried 2open my eyes big enuf so da jie won't feel bored in dis 3hrs journey.
Finally, we took a rest n had our lunch at Ayer Keroh.
After took some sips of coffee, Oh my spirit comes back! XD
Enjoy seeing de scenery outside- The Evergreen =)
At last, we are homed~
Warm welcomed by Malcolm & his family.
My Brownie is getting more adorable now.
Luv her luv her...
Joyce comes back too.
So 2day is our family outing.
Went kaikai (jalan2) n tk dine 2gether.
Oh life, Oh life! Happiness is just dat simple.

28 Nov '09

Shopping with family.
Another simple yet enjoyable day 2me.
Whole day yao che hor with dem.
Having buffet with da jie, pappy n mummy~
Joyce gotta go back 2day.
Just spent a day with her.Sigh~

29 Nov '09

Sunday~ Yes! Sunday. 2day is Sunday!
Gonna follow da jie back KL since she's driving alone.
Pappy will nvr stop worrying about her.
So mummy n I accompanied her back.
Massive traffic jam on highway.
Sien arh~
We thought of de last resort- hv a stay at cousin's hse at Seremban.
The way to seremban still jam..jam jam..
But is not peanut butter. *lame jokes learnt from Prof. Kang* =p
3hrs juz to reach seremban OMG!
However, being able 2 see vivian n sinny has win it all hehe.
Dey r oways indulging themselves in works.
Went 2 a famous restaurant in Seremban 2tk our dine.
Yummy yummy~
I guess I'd gain myself at least 2kg dis month. T_T
But thinking of de mouth-watering foods made me 4get about those unnecessary things.
Unquenchable desire in foods has killed me! Haha...

30 Nov '09

Another day in Seremban~
2day we gotta go back BP by bus.
Bought 2 Transnational bus tickets.
De driver is sucks man...
When I asked him izit de same company as SKS,
Then he said "U tengok kan bawah ade tulis, jgn nampak saje tulisan besar."
=.=" Why shud I deserve dis ill treatment from him?
I asked him politely.
Then I told mummy,
There are 2types of ppl in dis world.
De 1st type is though dey r not wealthy,dey r humble
So I respect them.
But de 2nd type is no matter how wealthy or powerful dey r,
Dey r arrogant, dey r rude to ppl,
Dey r still rubbish 2 me.
It's de way we think dat resulting in our action.
It shapes our temperament.
I hope u can understand.
Well, things come around goes around.

22 Nov - 26 Nov '09 Holidays~

2009-11-26T23:45:00.000+08:00

M 1st station is Times Square & Pavilion.
1st day 1st station my "after EOS" Break begin~ XD
Seeing christmas spree, I feel like wanna join dem too.
Hope dat dis year I wont hv a bored-to-dead christmas. *wink*

Jingle bell..jingle bell...

taking pic in de rain~

Our lunch at Penang Village~

High tea at Starbucks~

2nd day with Melody & Amy~
Movie session - A Christmas Carol 3D
Scary movie haha...

Lunch at Ichiban Sushi,Pavilion~

Cute Melody "act cute" ing =p

3rd day sing K with ah Jane & Jas~
Nite went GK 2 hv a stay..
Yeah! Finally can hv a nice sleep after torturing myself for 2weeks. =p
Good da jie knew dat I'm not brave enuf 2sleep alone.
Creepy~ @_@

4th day KLCC with Winnie~

Lunch at Burger King alone.
Spend my time reading novel there~
Ooowh~ I oways wish dis happiest moment 2 come.
I spent almost 3 hours at Kinokuniya 2search for myself some new books.
Well, my bookstore has recruited some new members. *happy*
Dinner at Imperial Chakri Palace.
Nice but expensive... O.O

We saw many japanese students hanging around in KLCC with their school uniform.
Big gang loiterring here n there~ Speaking n laughing with their very own japanese language. XD
Dey gathered in front of de exhibition hall. Magnificient scene wei.. Haha...

playing around in Toys world~

yummy vege~ =)

Thai style softshell crab *thumbs up*

white pepper tomyam soup ^^

2mrw will heading bc hometown 2 c my cute puppies~
Hi, all! Here I come~ ^^

2009-11-21T13:31:00.001+08:00

Finally~
The ending of EOS..
Recalling bc de dreadful scene during last 2 weeks.
Sigh~
Coffee has nvr abandon me.
Struggling in studies.
Gen chem, genetics, human bio...
Wat de hell am i going 2memorise all these?
I wish i would hv 1 terabyte of external hard disc inserted in my brain,
So that i dun hv 2 worry whether i nid 2 revise those notes twice or even more.
It's very contradict with wat i've oways thought.
Since i'm sensible.
But somehow whenever de stress is coming,
I can't help not 2imagine "nvr-going-to-happen" stuff.
Juz making myself 2 feel better I guess.
Haha...
Speaking of exam,
I failed 2 go bc hometown.
I can't meet up my old frenz.
I'm longing 2 c dem,
But..but I know wat's much more important right in front of me.
Human being is oways selfish.
I wonder am i de same stereotype?
I oways able 2comfort myself that "It's okay,everyone will do de same thing too."
Sorry,frenz...
I really miss u all.
May our path will cross again in de fututre.
I truly believe that "Once frenz forever frenz."
=)
Be good everyone~

2009-09-25T11:10:00.002+08:00

Hang out with amy yesterday to watch G force 3D max. Super fun wei.. XD
All the hamsters are too cute~ especially Darwin the genius.
Bought myself a new spec... Sad 2 say so, I'm going 2bankrupt. T_T
By de way, oct is coming! Haha, dat's mean my income will reach soon~
Thinking of reports n studies... A big SIGH~
Can de time juz stop 4 a moment 2allow me 2get all my works done?
Can it be possible?
I guess I'm not the only one who is daydreaming now.
Pathetic pathetic pathetic... *shaking head*
Library is damn cold now.
Making de atmosphere more comfortable 2 have a cat nap.
In fact, I'm combating against the sleepiness now.
What a significant mission I've done. =p
Thinking of a fren now...
Ooops! speak of the devil, the devil shall appear.
He's juz few rows of tables away from me.
Rajin betul budak tu...
Kay, stop crapping.
Gonna rajin bersama-sama juga.
Get back to u later,Stitch paradise~ ^^

2009-09-20T21:18:00.001+08:00

Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri, everybody!!!
Dis raya I was oways in a rush.
Followed papa 2visit datuk datin n my frenz.
Dis year I can't really feel the atmosphere of raya.
Most of them want 2cut cost so u can c de dreadful scene from the way dey decorated n de food served. XD
Finally, I stepped into Mutiara 's hse again.
I miss there pretty much...
Recalling the 1st time I got lost in her hse coz it's too big n complicated.
Her hse was overcrowded...
When passing by her swimming pool, it reminded me of my bfday too.
U know wat?
Dey threw me into swimming pool during my 18yrs old bfday.
I was shocked coz I didn't know how 2 swim at all.
By de way, I knew dey mean me no harm haha.
I was touched coz dey drew me a shirt themselves.
Sorry, I kept saying them them..
Dey r tiara n jas.. My high school besties. =)
Happy n longing to c them again.
But I lost contact with jas.. sigh~
Miss amni too. Guess she'll be busy learning language in korea.
Poor her~ can't even come back n celebrate raya with family.
My whole day gone with de raya celebration.
Heard some rumours from high school too.
Heard dat mariah transfered to SDBL.
Shocked!
Heard dat Pn. Rozanah undergone lipo-suction.
Shocked!
Heard dat sabrina changed damn lotsa uni few months ago.
Shocked!
Dat's de moment I feel dat I'm home~
Mixing n loitering with them.
Again~
How time flew...
20yrs passed ...
Everyone is searching their own way.
Some people get lost in de path.
Some peaople struggling in their life.
Some people is able 2 find their ownself.
Exhausted ...
Met many old frenz 2day.
Dey r still de same.
Only I'm de one who has changed.
But for them, I'm still me.
De gal dey've met de 1st time we shake hands.
Sigh~
Frenz...
I miss u all .....

2009-09-19T13:48:00.001+08:00

Been in IMU for 69days. What significant things have I done in these 69days? Nope.. I guess not at all. I have nvr been do something worth or useful so far. Keep idling my precious time with nonsense and laziness. Gosh! What can I do? I don't really settle down myself yet in 69days. I'm a weakling. ='( My brain doesn't function in the way that I want. Sad to say so~ Dr. Keng keep telling me not to think negatively, but I know everybody is hard to persuade themselves, so do I isn't it? Well, just wanna share some of my frenz' pics here. Oh time, oh time!

This is peyling n zhenghao. Dey both are adorable.

dey r all my classmates. ^^

this is Fabian,our cute batch rep. Funny too~

our silent drama (communication session)

Sara- our female batch rep. She's nice too~

See! My classmates r cute!

During english magic show.. In de process of dismantling our magic box. ='(

KK, he's de cutest guy dat I pampered of. XD

Liangkuan with me during first aid training. A memorable day 4 all of us. =)

Well, an emotional day to me. I have to rekindle my spirit of fighting~ Yenzi, pappy n mummy will oways love u. Dun let them worry about u. I tell myself~ Gonna work gonna work!

2009-09-14T20:29:00.000+08:00

Broga Hill climbing programme~
I woke up extraordinarily early 2day... Around 4am. Can u believe it? The night b4 I was extremely tired of searching some musics. Reluctant 2wake up when alarm rang n woke me up.... Dragging my body 2washroom. Dajie n amy were still in their nice,sweet dream. =.=" Kay,Alvin came n fetched us there. Wow!
Words can't really tell much here, so u guys juz enjoy the pictures n make ur own story. =p

taken at 5am

To be continued~

2009-09-04T22:55:00.002+08:00

Yeah!!!!!!!!!!
Guess where am I now? Genting kelang!!
Oh I really miss here.
I miss here desperately...
Finally, I'm able 2 come here n retrace my memory.
Haha...
By de way, I ate alot juz nw.
Gonna get rid of my extra lemak dy..
Sigh~
Have 2 wake up very very early 2mrw...
Sien........ @_@
Why I become so lazy? Why? Why?!! *sobbing*
Nvr ending works 4 me...
Grant me an extra brain,God!
But remain de same size as de head I'm having nw.
Coz chee said I might have a big big head if God really do grant me another brain.
*worrying*

Kay...my mission of dis month are :
1. lose weight at least 2kg.
2. catch up all the lectures & assignments
3. more optimistic.
4. get rid of bad luck.
5. be hardworking.
6. no more day-dreaming.
7. cut off expenses.
8. have enough sleep *my dark circle is killing me*

*yawning* Sleepy.... I'll visit u again when I'm free, Stitch paradise.
Gudnite~ ^^ Yahoo!!!

Fun

2009-08-21T14:22:00.006+08:00

We're free!!!!!!!!!! Hooray! FREE? Ehm, just a day. Coz 2day is IMU convocation. Thx for the sake of those graduates, we can rest a day. Haha... I went out with my dearest PC frenz. Ooops, sorry 4 those who's not here. PC is de abbreviation of pharmaceutical chemistry. N we're the PC. =p Sylvia the "skilful" driver fetched the 4 of us to Sunway. Our movie session is The Proposal. Kind of funny n touching comedy. =)

takein in Ladies

Elaine =)

Sylvia ^^

Sara ^^

My cheddar special lunch

our Ice Monster

On the way to hv our dine, we went Mydin 2do some shopping. Groceries groceries~ I'm gonna fall asleep there haha...

Heading to eat steamboat 2gether~ My stomach is going 2 burst with the extreme food intake.
Btw,there's alot of varieties 2choose. Eat smart is a knowledge 4 me haha...

posing with our foods

The Ultrawoman who is unwilling 2 snap photos

Louise n the Crab~

Sylvia with chopsticks. p/s: She's better than me. ='(

Karen n the vege.. =p

in the process of eating a crab *exhausted* XD

posing with my chinese tea =)

Last but not least, Thx guys for de happy moments. Thx sylvia 4 bringing us there. ^^

2009-08-17T14:05:00.003+08:00

2day the three of us hang out again~ Buying groceries at Endah Parade n having our lunch at a taiwanese restaurant. I guess dat's the only luxury dat we're entitled to. XD... It's pathetic 2 say dat anyway,but it's true. Since we live like org asli here. No entertainment, No joy. STRESS? Yes! I would answer without flicking my mind. Nothing turn out to be good since I came. First, de stupid P1 doesn't work. Second, the shower head spoiled. Third, the florescent light tube spoiled. Forth, de washing machine spoiled. Fifth, the damn grill is going 2 break down too. Sixth.... Hey, r u guys waiting 2 c wat's gonna happen 2 me next? It's too bad~
By de way,I'm de happy go lucky type. So, I believe things will turn out to be bright again. My bright path is waiting 4 me! XD Miracle exist~ I believe dat. Sounds stupid but it'd proven to be true from human psychology. Ehm, juz enjoy the photograghs dat 3 gals has taken when dey hv nothing 2 do.

To be continued~

2009-08-16T13:51:00.002+08:00

It was so shocked.
I can't believed wat I've heard from them....
Sigh~ Chloe called me.
She said Sly had gone...
He'd gone?!
The words just came out from her mouth.
I knew she meant it seriously.
I didn't know how 2 react.
Though we're not the so-called besties at college,
I feel bad about it.
He always called me little gal as well as his bestie-James.
After I got 2 know him for a semester,he left.
He went KDU to continue his studies.
Then we nvr seen each other again...
I didn't expect the time when I'm able 2 see him again is during his funeral.
I'm....................
Haihz....
I've so much 2 say yet it didn't come out from the inner side of me.

Nvr think dat u'll hv de forever time 2 idle away..
Sometimes things does happen out of ur control n expectation.
There's nothing we can do.
We dun even hv de right 2 say No or Stop!
I know I need to have a clear mind of wat exactly I need 2 do.
Chance doesn't appear itself n u just grab it easily.
Yenzi~
U're weak....
I told myself i'm no longer a daddy's little gal.
Haihz....
Kay,I guess i'm gonna stop here.

Sing to the soul~

2009-08-14T13:22:00.006+08:00

Fabian n Yen

Victor n I

ND n PC

Pharm chem rocks!!! ^^

Elaine n ME

Me, Michelle n Marcus

Meichin n Yenzi

I knew it would be freaking surprise to all my frenz who knew me damn well. I went 4 de audition of IMU chinese singing competition last week. My cousins were doubting me since I seldom sing in front of dem. Haha..well, I was able 2 enter to semi-final. The toughest part came, I hv 4 songs 2 memorise during my final competition. When de day came nearer n nearer, I started 2 regret wat de heck I was doing.. Y I join de competition instead of concentrating in studies? Y? I knew when if I gave up, dey'll very very disappointed about me. N de dey I meant were my frenz. So, I determined n bear all de difficulties until the end. When de MC announced dat I was actually the champion, I was crazy!!! OMG!!!! Can u believe dat? Nvr had i thought dat I would be the champion. Singing is juz 1 of my hobbies. Oh my god my god! Thx 4 blessing me~ Thx all my frenz for ur voting n moral supports. Thx 4 not giving up hope in me. I appreciate everyone of u. =) Thx papa mummy too! Yeah~

2009-07-25T12:46:00.000+08:00

Sorry guys for disappearing all these while XD. Since I came Imu,alot of stuff 2 do. Im exhausted almost everyday. The room dat i've rent is juz a place 4 me 2 sleep, nothing more than dat. Sigh~ From amy precise calculation, we gonna pay 10bucks for each single nite juz 4 taking shower n sleep. Pity~ *shaking head*
At last i hv sometimes 2 drop some words here. Buziness go away plz!!!
Below r some of de photographs dat we took during orientation week. Do enjoy guys... When I hv free time i'll upload more 2 facebook. Hehe...

my current roommate-Welcome amy! XD

She's peyling from BPharm,she doesn't like ppl call her sharon.

She's ying ling from ND.

shy ling n ying ling...

Pirates of IMU

Cute little KK

Rou n ME

Mingjoon n I

Chris is performing...

Project runway

For more info,kindly proceed to my fb album... XD

July~

2009-07-01T14:39:00.000+08:00

I knew it would have come 1 day. Never had I thought 3 months time can be so FAST.... 3 months past~ Im gonna welcoming july with slightly uneasiness. Sigh~ Goodbye everyone! Though u all keep calling me a kiddo, I treasure every moment with u. And finally...... I left Dyna. *miss*

my dearest Wee

Ting

Wen

Ain

de bear bear dey sent me during my bfday. *touched*

baby Yaya * I love her*

emo Ain during last day

Take care everyone~

Random snapping~

2009-06-30T11:11:00.000+08:00

Brownie & bear bear.. ^^

Coming soon~

2009-06-18T10:46:00.000+08:00

A bfday ceremony held at Dyna. We celebrated Ain 19yrs old bfday. ^^ Still, a cute n friendly gal. Bless u, Ain~

Qiuyu jie & Ain

Ie's n Ain

" I wish......"

For some personal reason, Wee was not in de photos. Sigh~

2009-06-05T21:18:00.000+08:00

Great news ever!!!
Malcolm n Kaka finally have kids. Yeah!!!
Little malcolm n kaka.
There r 5 of dem.
A big family now...
5 adorable puppies.
But due to my lappy problem,
I'm unable 2 upload their photos.
Haihz....
Dey r so tiny n cute!!!
Will keep u guys updated once I fix de problem here.
Tata..... ^^

2009-06-03T12:37:00.001+08:00

Everyday dealing with lotsa customers.
I've met different kinds of ppl.
From young to old,
Some r troublesome,
Some r funny,
Some r stubborn,
Some r arrogant n etc.
It allows me 2communicate with all kinds of human beings.
Cultivate my patience n temperament.
I've learnt to deal with extremity.
Sometimes u hv 2used up ur mind n be careful of what u're going 2speak.
Deal with H,dun speak too much.
Deal with C,speak as much as u can.
Deal with S,make sure what u really want 2 say.
Sounds interesting huh?!
But if u 4get de rules...Oh!
Something is gonna happened~

Met a family yesterday.
A 12-yr-old gal which I think she shouldn't be a 12-yr-old gal.
She's much more mature than her actual age.
But the deep inside her,innocence still can be seen.
Then again~I've been insulted or mocked by them. =.="
Poor me....

Received my 2nd salary yeah!
I've not wasted a cent though.
Since I've nothing 2 buy n I dun hv 2 use my own pocket $$. =p
June is going 2 end soon.
I hv 2 bid farewell with my frenz here. ='(
Haihz....
Take care,everyone.
I'll come back~

To be continued~

2009-05-31T23:09:00.000+08:00

I'm sorry, Stitch Paradise. Abandon u for so long...
I can't find a suitable mood to drop a word or two here recently.
Since ah gong passed away.
Haihz....
I nvr expect it to happen.
I saw him last 2 weeks when visiting ah ma.
He still talked to me.
He asked about my future plan,
And hope I can further my studies as much as I could.
Saturday I still worked happily.
But when I reached home,
Phone rang~
And once I saw ah ma's hse number,
I know something bad must had happen.
And out of my expectation.
She said ah gong fall down.
Her words were calm n still.
I know what had happen.
Uncle Hong n Aunt rushed back home.
But everything was too late.
I can't sleep well the whole nite.
I regret...
I regret I didn't follow papa n mummy.
5 days funeral ritual had past.
Tiring...
We have to accept what ady happened.
Chia n uncle pray for him everyday.
Rest in peace,ah gong~
Dun worry about us.

2009-05-18T23:56:00.000+08:00

She came...
She saw me n my first respond is to paddle off.
She kept following me...
She asked me 2 stay there n dun move.
But I was too scare..
I know I've hurt her feelings.
I'm surprise she's still willing 2come n look for me 2day.
I heard they said she havent sleep for whole day.
She came here purposely 2 give back de thing.
I dunwan 2take it though she forced me 2 do so.
At last, she left...
Phew~such a heart palpitation I'd gone through.
Well, at least my burden is being reduced.
I'm ok now~ =)

2009-05-17T23:45:00.000+08:00

I quarrel with her. My most doted n pampered gal...
Coz I'm oways de type dat too shy 2accept others help.
She juz 1na help. I know, I really understand.
But I juz can't get used to it.
When she said " Fine fine!!! U dun hv 2apologise. Is my fault for bothering u!"
I was bleeding...
I was sad due to her words.
I know a friendship won't end like dis, not 2day.
But somehow I have a sense dat she'll do dat.
Amitabha plz help me...
Let her understand wat I have told her.
Make her know dat I'm not stubborn, I have my own reason.
My own reason.....

2009-05-15T23:12:00.004+08:00

Celebrated my 20-year-old bfday yesterday nite. 20 means alot to me.... 20 means I'm no longer a daddy's little gal. 20 means I have 2be more mature in thinking n attitude. 20 means I dun have 2pretend dat I'm old coz I really am now. ='( 20 means I can't tell everybody proudly dat " Hey,I'm only a 19yrs old teenager" Oh gosh~frankly speaking,It's really hard 4 me 2accept it right now. But I know time will nvr frozen there, it'll keep moving n moving n running n running. I dun feel like I enjoy my teenage life ish... But when I'm telling ppl dat I'm ady 20yrs old, too old 2be cute. They r like "Hey hey,u r juz a kid lah..." =.=" Again, I have been laughed by dem due to the obvious differences between my actual age n my appearance. Though some of dem nvr express it, I'm ninety nine point nine percent sure dat dey do think de same. Dey r all de same. Making fool of me.. Ppl might wonder y I worry so much about dis? Shouldn't I be happy coz I have been gifted a baby face. But u r all wrong!!! U r not me n u'll nvr understand my inner feelings. Haih...btw,I have 2cheer up. Welcome 20!!!! I've so much 2fight for my future. Fighting!!!

To be continued~

Hollow~

2009-05-06T23:54:00.003+08:00

Ain is going 2tk 2 days off. Dat means I might get bored without her... ='( Btw,Aunt Ivy took flight 2 sabah dis morning since her pa hv passed away. She left Pierre here for about 8days. He's oways been a good boy juz a bit naughtier n hyperactive. But I think most of de boys r de same. We really hv 2 look after him very well... When I get back from work juz nw he cried when mummy left him. N his face was pale n no crying voice come out at all. Suddenly his small face turn black n he nearly fainted. Oh,dat's juz too scary! His lip n face were black all in a sudden. Pappy blamed us for letting him cry since he has thalassemia. Haihz...I'm shocked too. Well, I'm gonna stop here~ Pierre, u muz stay healthy n fit. *pray*

Myth

2009-05-05T16:00:00.002+08:00

Sorry for abandon u for so long Stitch paradise... I'm fine recently. Juz kind of busy & tired when I get back from works. Da jie n er jie came back 3days ago but I juz spend very poor little time with dem due to my part-time job. I only c dem not more than 5hrs. Haihz...Whenever I'm free dey r not. N finally dey went back to their places n left me here. No choice, once u've stepped into de career path u'll hardly clear out some time 2gether wit ur family. 2 days dey stay at home n I only able 2tk 2 meals with dem. Then dey went back again... 2day is my offday but I feel so lonely. Trying 2let those errands occupied my heart so I wont feel depressed. Started 2worry about my studies. I'm worried I can't do it well, I'm scared I can't cope with all de coming pressures. Sometimes I even having insomnia bcoz of thinking too much... I guess I've changed. Changed into a person dat I dun relly know who izit. I'm not de pessimistic type of gal. But now seems 2be I'm. De older I'm, de more responsibilities I've had.
Love u all, my dearest family~ Luv each one of u. *hugs*

2009-04-17T22:20:00.004+08:00

Y there r never-ending works for me 2do? Y there r so many stocks everyday? The shop ady overloaded with all kinds of clothes & stuffs but I hv no idea y boss still 1na tk so many order. =.=" Shirley said during festival season de shop will oways loaded with new goods. I nvr c dat b4 but I guess dat muz be a landslide scene. And 2day I nvr hv time 2 rest.. Wanna know wat is my work 2day?! Yes, u r right! Unpacked, punched price tags, hang up, displayed... *just repeating it thounsand times will do.* Didn't dey c there r so little space 2display all the clothes? That's definitely a hard task 4 shirley, especially during her bfday. I changed the white,big hangers into black,small hangers. So many types of hangers 2be used in different types of clothes. Even genius might get confused. TIRED!!!!!!!! Nvm, I still nid 2 go on. Gambateh yenzi!!! 10pm when we were about 2 close de shop, de phone rang. So, I noe I hv 2 bring de trolley n tk de new coming stocks again. Sucks! Gonna tk a warm bath nw... Thx blog 2let me release my tiredness. Btw, luckily 2mrw still hv PWee doing de headaches job with me. Hooray!!!

2009-04-16T12:25:00.004+08:00

I have been told that my sister is smart, pretty, gentle & more n more.
I look at myself through the mirror,
So wat's my very personal strong point all these while?
Apparently I dun quite have it.
Haihz...
I guess everybody would like to be someone else.
For those who's materialistic,
Dey wanna be the richest ppl in de world.
For those who has dominant character,
Dey wanna be the leaders of their gang.
For those who's duffer,
Dey wanna be a genius.
So many wanna-be but who's really going 2 achieve it?
Some might grab it easily,
Some might just staring at it hopelessly.
Just like chinese saying,
1 type of food feed thousands kind of ppl.
Indifferent in skin, iris, hair colours, physical build-up,
And reach to a more internal state,
Thinking...

He knows I hv a perfect role model with me,
I dunwan to be pessismistic.
It's just.....
It's just the more I've met,
The little do I find out my ownself.

Me?
I just wanna talk,
I just wanna play,
I just wanna be myself.
I cry when I'm sad,
I angry when I'm provoked,
I shout when I'm tortured.
I laugh when I'm happy.
That's me.
Whoever would be the same as me?
I love the very unique of mine.
Dat's the advantages of being 19.
I dunwan to pretend like I'm mature.
I am who I am.
I am who I'm supposed to be.

I'm not pity if others think I am.
But I'm really pity if I sympathise myself.
Why graded me as an idiot if I dunno wat r u talking about?
Why graded me as a stranger if I dun like wat u love?
It's the same.
When I talk about dance,
U don't know a thing.
When I talk about opera,
U show no interest in it.
When I talk about technique in singing,
U know nothing.
When I talk about novels,
U say u nvr read.
But I nvr speak out.
I just 1na be considerate.
But who r u to judge me?
It's really sad being told like dis.
Dun treat me as a fool just bcoz of wat we're different in.
Everybody has feelings,
And u'll nvr hv the right to hurt someone like dat.

2009-04-15T23:43:00.003+08:00

Rainy day~ My mood is not that good too. It's all due to de rain. Wanna noe y? When there's rain - I feel pain. I might hv bodyache, shoulder pain, muscle pain, migraine.. And sometimes I feel sleepy. =.=" In a nutshell, rheumatism win it all. Haihz.... Maybe I was a cat b4 as cats hate rain too. I went to work at 3pm as a part-timer. At de beginning it's still ok with me. But when minute by minute gone, I started 2 feel dizzy. Tak bersemangat lagi...Kaki lenguh sangat ish... Some more 2day hv so many new coming stocks. So I unpacked, wrapped & hang up. Repeating de same procedures... I've done so many things in a rainy day. I muz say that's such a proud record to me. =p I guess I'm kind of obstinate. I tried hard 2drag my body home but I'm still playing games instead of sleeping on my chicken little bed. Hey, not I lose my passion in chicken little, it's bcoz I wanna get rid of my bad mood b4 sleep. Chatting with a few xiao meimei now. Feeling better...dey r juz awesome. I mean their modern thinking. Kay,I think I'm gonna stop here.

2009-04-12T00:09:00.003+08:00

Such a tiring night!!! Came back from work. I dunno why I'm so sleepy but still 1na forced myself 2sit in front of my lappy & blogging... =.=" But I juz can't help not 2 do sumthn b4 I sleep. I dunno wat exactly has happened 2me. I felt lethargic the whole day even when serving customers. I dun hv much interest in communicating or chatting with them at all. Juz show some fake smile & I noe I look like a nerd when I'm trying 2give a warm smile. I guess for ppl who has seen me 2day that muz be a weird,distorted,unatural expression to them. Hopefully I didn't scared off those kids. I'm a good jiejie plz~ However, there's 1 very interesting customer who has somehow attracted me. Or u can say disturbed my mind from functioning normal. An exaggerating sissy malay guy. He came with his "normal friend" which is a guy as well. And if I'm not mistaken that's already 9pm. He weared a shade with a white tight shirt,ultra skinny jeans & carried a super duper sissy-like handbag. He moved as graceful as wave & the most appealing thing was his fingers movement reminded me of oldies chinese opera. U noe how tough for me to stop myself from laughing out loud? I tried hard 2supress the adrenaline rush which means I hv 2fight with my body hormone system from doing their job for a few seconds. The 1st time in my life that I felt a few seconds seemed long like hell. Actually I did laugh out but I somehow covered it with a light cough. I think he should hv known it coz I'm kind of obtuse. But he shouldn't be blamed for that. As I noe that's all due to his endocrine system too. Not he wants 2 be sissy,maybe he's sad in some way. Okay,okay... it's my bad to laugh at him. But it juz amazed me & my curiosity aroused. That's fact. *yawn* I really nid some sleep now. Hope that 2mrw will be a good day~

2009-04-08T17:28:00.003+08:00

Went kl yesterday to view apartment once again. But dis time we hv a proper master bedroom. I must say PROPER bcoz there's no strange things, odd rules or extraordinary problems that annoy me. Housemates...ehm. Leave it to me to imagine what kind of ppl I might meet later on haha.. Phew~such a relief I have had. There's only 3hsemates... Yeah!!! We're officially off the road indeed! *as amy said so* Let's go celebrate. =p

So dis leads to our celebration at Nippon Tei. In fact, dat's not a celebration. Juz a normal dinner. It is really awkward to being watched while eating. =.=" And I'm unable to find a new purse. So sad~~ According to my er jiejie, in order to prevent our $$ from flowing out without coming in we have 2use a purse which has 19 compartments. *Feng Shui sayings* Haha.. I'm not so believe it but frankly speaking how can it be possible to find a purse which has 19 compartments? By the way, I'm not going 2get myself a new purse juz for dat reason. Coz I feel like I need to & have to change a new one. =p We accompanied da jie to do some shopping before going back home.

To be continued~

2009-04-02T12:14:00.002+08:00

OMG!!! Finally~ I got a job! U know how many months I had stay at home & doing nothing? I'm so so happy hehe. 2day is the 2nd day I work there. A boutique.. It's far more better than being a waitress before. But I need to stand for whole day. 30minutes for lunch n dinner during weekdays. 15 minutes during weekends. I guess I have to train myself to eat faster. Nvm, that's not a problem for me at all. Well, I have to go for vaccine injection now. Buhbye blog!!!

2009-03-29T23:48:00.004+08:00

Friends Gathering Day~ Went for 2 gatherings in a row tonite.
1st station is Fusion Pasta with YWen,XQian & Xwei. They kept complaining about how hard to be a kindergarden teacher. Yes, de society is not as conservative as before. Even nowadays kids are getting harder to control. They won't listen a word to u juz like a fledgling. I've met alot who speaks foul words. So who was to blame?! They told me when dealing with children, u have 2try out some tactics. Ya, i do agree coz my cousins were the same too. If u got angry easily then u failed & they knew u were easily provoked. Teachers have been told which child u can beat and which child u cannot. =.=" If u disobey the rules, then get urself well-prepared to receive complaint the next day. What did they know besides complaining? Well, obviously nothing. So now u noe how tough to be a teacher. Ehm..I mean a responsible one. U have to be tough enough to bear those small little kids. I wonder how could my primary school teachers hold their temperament when dealing with us haha... But think from other side, when seeing them talk like an adult or play like an angel u'll really impressed. Kids will somehow lighten up ur day & brushed away all ur unhappiness. Besides patience, still needs patience. We can't blame the children due to their upbringing problems. Apparently, they just followed wat have been told. Therefore, pre-school education is really really important. Never think that u can weild the cane whatever u like to force them listen to u. Even kids have hatred. If u love them, punish them in a good way.

dis is mine...yummy!

random photo.. Little kawaii Audrey

Xwei & Me

XQian, Me & YWen

2nd round at Tea station with Yhwa & Jas~

Jas seemed to be occupied with her assigments. She brought her laptop & did her works while at the same time chatting with us. So this has proven girls have the ability to be multitasking. =p

We can watch TV while listening to music n do our homework, we can sing when reading novels. Sometimes daddy is curious why I have the TV n computer on while I'm actually doing my homework. I told him I want to watch TV and at the same time I 1na on9 to wipe away my annoying homeworks. And he's like "How can I possibly believe u can do that?" Haha..OMG! I've enough crapping.

Weeyong in chinese traditional costume (took from YHwa)

doing assignment, pressing handphone & chatting.

Dad & Mum sent me home after that. Bye my old friends~

To be continued...

2009-03-27T00:32:00.004+08:00

Juz finished watching a TV show,
Feel like I hv mood 2write again~
Seeing all cheerleaders performed their best in front of de audience,
I can feel de joy dey hv had,
De smile on their face was real,
Too real 2be doubted,
But their parents dun understand,
Dey dun understand how much confident dey hv gained in cheerleading,
Dey dun understand how much passion n enthusiasm dey hv put into it,
Dey called it a time-wasting activity
N deny everyhting,
Deny their efforts,
Like all their hope void and gone.
In their mindset,their children shouldn't do dat,
Wat dey want dem 2 do is study hard,
Pay more attention in homework but not those.
Dey make many promises,
But when will parents' promises turn out 2 be literal?
No...
Juz more n more lies.
Y dey juz dun understand?
Didn't dey being a child b4?
If Michael Jordan gives up his basketball,
Will there still be a skilful basketball player Michael Jordan nw?
Or an unknown businessman?
If Andrea Bocelli gives up singing,
Will there still be a talented tenor Andrea Bocelli?
Or juz a street entertainer?
Juz 1 single idea,
U may change everything.
Study,study & study...
Like we lost our soul.
I was enthralled by their courage.
No sponsor, no practise location,
Dey juz go 2 Finland 2compete,
With their own pocket money.
N dey became de 1st runner-up.
Make proud of their country~
Then finally some parents noe...
"Luckily u didn't give up ur dream my dear,
We're proud of u."
Pathetic~
If u hv a dream,
Go 4 it.
It's nothing 2be afraid of.
Sounds easy..
But who knows there are never-ending stumbling blocks awaiting?

2009-03-24T20:13:00.002+08:00

昨天去当了二姐的考试模特儿。躺在床上让她洗脸，画妆等等。脚都快麻了。。。

考生三人组

我似乎老了几岁。。=.="

无意间被我拍到的，哈哈。原来垃圾是用拉的。

2009-03-23T00:03:00.002+08:00

Went Henry's wedding ceremony. In fact I dun wish to go. U can imagine when u are forced to go a place u dun feel like 1na go. They were smoking there. I HATE TOBACCO, I HATE CIGARETTES. Stop smoking in front of me. I feel sick. I'm dizzy when smelling it.

the only tasty dishes

We left earlier to prevent myself from getting pneumonia.

2009-03-22T23:54:00.002+08:00

I'm alive!!! Nonono..I feel like I'm alive! Haha.. It have been months since I came tasek Y to jog. I enjoy jogging. I enjoy perspiring... I feel energetic... I feel young. =p

1 Week Diary

2009-03-21T22:30:00.013+08:00

Day 1 ~ Took bus to Pudu station. After bought my ticket nie I took starline to meet amy at Masjid Jamek. We took our lunch at Burger King. A dark, suspicious looking man kept looking at amy when I was queueing up to take order. Luckily I reminded amy when de guy approached her. Phew...He walked off when seeing amy looked at him alarmingly. Took LRT to go back GK. Finally, we reached PV. Chee hold a BBQ party at nite to celebrate Roshan's birthday.

PV park

Lotsa negro lived there

a short snap during barbecue

de "tam jiak po"

Winnie's masterpiece. =p

Mr. Frederick

Day 2 ~ Made appoinment with Ms. Khairun to view hostel. I must say I never meet such a weird rain in my life. When we were on our way to IMU,raindrops started to fall and it has no sign to stop. Pouring cats and dogs. At that moment we already get prepared to get wet in rain. But when cab halted in front of the campus,rain stopped. =.=" Seemed like He knows we didn't bring our umbrella. So, we got in campus dry. Gosh~once we stepped in the campus, all of dem were wearing formal. Not even slippers & jeans. So we were the intruders. haha... Bad news..ish! We were put in waiting list. Can u imagine that? Now is only march and we were told that all hostel was full for the coming july intake. I was like =.="

Day 3 ~ Preview apartment again... Yes,is again! Yet, we were unsure about it. Amy's touch n' go had some problem, deducted more than de actual fees. I think we gonna stay on road. >.<

Went Ichiban,Pavilion to hv our dinner with da jie n etc...

we bought a box of mini JCO doughnuts. So cute!!

da jie n chee.. The best partner ever..=p

Wenjun,Amy & Me

3 of us only costs bout rm5o++

Day 4 ~ Went IMU for the 3rd times. *faint* Coz we have to preview private apartment. It took only 20minutes. Then we went klcc to have a cup of coffee. *I'm a coffee-lover* Did we looked like young kids? I think no..not exactly! When we took order at San Francisco coffee, the waiter kept reminding us espresso was very bitter. =.=" I told him that's not my 1st time to drink espresso. After high tea, we watched Race to Witch Mountain. I must say that's so funny. But de plotting was kind of weak including the location of shooting dis film. Ehm..2 stars grade.

I snapped a photo of dis jigsaw puzzle secretly under de risk of being caught. =p

cafe americano & espresso machiato

I like dis...looks natural~

Day 5 ~ Loitering at Times Square. There's a minor electricity problem at monoral station so we were forced to wait there with crowds. Ish... So crowded, I was afraid someone will fall down accidentally. Thx God everyone is safe.. =) Took our late-lunch at Wendy's.

shrimp burger

baked potato with chives & sour cream

Day 6 ~ Amy went back to Batu Gajah 2day. Early in the morning we were still in sweet dreams. Tired tired tired.... I sent amy to take cab & bid farewell to her. Then my boredom started to magnify. Everybody went to work & I was alone to watch drama. Dragging my tired body & uneasiness to tk my lunch alone. ='(

Btw, 2day is PengPeng's birthday. Happy Birthday gal~

I'll go back 2mrw with chee and da jie. Looking forward to c malcolm hehe...

To be continued...

2009-03-20T01:25:00.003+08:00

I was curious~ Really really curious.
Y when we are spending most of our time in argument n I'll still miss u?
I feel weird n awkward when u r not around.
I'm shocked to find out this fact.
Ironically, I feel like I cant deal with closest friend of mine as naturally as when with u.
Maybe I get used to ur existence.
Ya, juz a maybe.
but who knows how much a MAYBE can hold?!
There are piles of possibilities in a maybe.

I wont feel a single stress when I'm with u.
Knowing u are having a good life now.
Btw, u are indeed a prankster on stage.
Honestly, u make me annoying (sometimes)
And ur act are kind of provoking.
But now now...
I curl up a smile when thinking of those memories.

That's life~
Indeed wonderful yet miserable.
When u are near to ur dream then it blown away
U nvr expect to have this,
Then it happens.
What's the philosophy that lies behind?
I have boxes of question marks.
I know the more I get to know,
the more sufferings I'll hv.
But somehow I still dare to open the Pandora's box.
And I'm sure I'm not the only one.

Maybe having a little bit of sense of curiosity is indispensable.
If u do everything in well-planned n get everythings controlled
U'll nvr know what u are doing for that all the time.
Maybe u'll say that's ur principle but brain is not just a biological structure,
A few changes n modification will makes thing better or worsen,
And the result will be all in a different.
That's all depends on u.
Trust me,
Those who are willing to speak unhidingly and straight forward to u are ur friends.
Dun hide ur misery behind ur smile.
It's not easy to stay tough when u are not one.
I know this better than u....

2009-03-17T20:41:00.006+08:00

After I read it, I was touched.
It made me believe that loves still existed~
I meant true love...
I had seen too much
And i was doubting...
So, share this with u all.

《離婚協議書》
嫁給這個男人五年了，我不知道我是否還愛他。
記得剛新婚的時候，早晨時必定會在他懷抱中醒來，
我總是紅著臉不敢說一聲早，怕嘴裡的口氣弄皺了他的眉；

漱口杯與牙刷堅持要和他用同款不同色，擺在一起看才有夫妻的感覺；
我會幫他打點上班的衣物，什麼襯衫配什麼領帶，
經過我的審美才准他穿上身。
起了床到餐桌上，為了他的健康，
我每天變換不同花樣的早餐，
晴朗的天可能是培根蛋加上烤土司；

有些下雨的話，或許來點小米粥搭醬瓜鹹蛋；
要是陰天，不如就吃些外頭的燒餅油條和豆漿……
招式用到我變不出新把戲，可是我樂此不疲。
除了當一個賢慧的妻子，我亦毫不掩飾對他的熱情，
「我愛你」是每天恭送他出門上班一定說的話，然後附加一個親密的吻，
即使他大多時候只是淺淺一笑，也足夠我高興個老半天。

但是，五年過去了。
我相信還不到癢的時候，可是，到底是什麼改變了我和他的互動？
早晨起床，他的位置往往已空蕩，
只能由皺褶的床單證實他確實存在過，即使他偶爾睡過了頭或者小賴一下床，
也絕對是急急忙忙由床上跳起來，匆忙的梳洗著衣。
我已經快忘了被他擁抱迎接朝陽的感覺。

盥洗室裡的漱口杯，在幾年前被打破一只後，再也找不到一模一樣的，
而另一只因為掉到馬桶裡，所以也換了新的；
五年內，牙刷已換了不知幾支，甚至有時我們睡迷糊了，
還會用上同一支，什麼口氣的問題都不需要掩飾了。
是否一樣顏色，一樣款式，他說這些根本不重要。
因此，洗手台上Hello Kitty和小叮噹圖樣的兩只漱口杯左右對峙，
小叮噹的杯裡插著一支綠色牙刷，是我的；Hello Kitty則是空的，
因為他前一陣子已改用電動牙刷，擺在架子上。
分屬兩個不同故事的漱口杯，以及位於兩個不同位置的牙刷，
彷彿在嘲諷我們的夫妻關係，漸行漸遠。

因為他出門的時間早，打點他的衣著已經不再是我的事，他自己會搞定。
早餐已經很久沒有一起吃了，我同樣不必費盡心思去想菜單、查食譜，反正沒人賞光。
更不用說「我愛你」這句話，
還有熱情的早安吻，他無福消受，而且現在說起來也有些矯情了。
仔細想想，五年來他沒有說過一次「我愛你」，一次也沒有。
我和他相聚的時間，嚴格上來說是從晚上七點開始，也就是他下班回來之後。
如果他加班的話，那時間可能要延到十點、十一點。

剛結婚的時候，我為了他去學烹飪，「要抓住男人的心，先抓住他的胃」，
我深信這個鐵律。所以，一些餐館名菜常出現在我們餐桌上，
宮保雞丁、五更腸旺、蔥油雞、東坡肉……。
見他吃得高興，我也開懷，雖然不全是我愛吃的，
但是，他愛吃就好。飯後，我們會依偎在沙發上看電視，我陪他看新聞，
聽他評論國政、批判社情；
他陪我看八點檔，聽我調侃劇情、大哭大笑。
所以我知道行政院長、立法院長是什麼人，他也知道當紅的李世民是誰演的。
我沒有料到的是，五年的時間可以改變這一切。

烹飪班我可以說是半途而廢，不知道從哪天起，他開始干涉我做菜的方法，
宮保雞丁他不喜歡太多辣椒，五更腸旺他開始抵制，
蔥油雞叫我別淋油，連滷東坡肉要放多少醬油，他都有話說。
我做的菜漸漸變得簡單，烹飪班也不想去了，
有時候一盤炒青菜、貢丸湯和皮蛋豆腐就打發掉他，他反而沒什麼意見。
我想，我抓不住他的胃。

隨著他加班次數的增加，我們甚少在一起看電視了，
除了現任總統是陳水扁，我對於國家大事可說一無所知；
而他，問都不用問，台灣霹靂火的男主角是誰他絕對不可能知道。
夫妻之間開始言不及義，他對我說的話，
大多都是「不用等我」、「早點睡」，我跟他說的話，
也幾乎是「你回來了」、「菜在電鍋熱著」。
我們沒有相同的話題，沒有相同的興趣，除了「夫妻」名義上的聯繫，
我們的交流空泛的可憐，比普通朋友還不如。
多可笑的夫妻關係，不是嗎？

婚前，我們曾描繪著未來的願景，他說要生兩個孩子，先男後女，
哥哥可以保護妹妹；我卻認為應該先享受一段兩人生活，
生孩子的時情倒不急於一時，只是我不想壞了他的興致，並沒有說出口。
婚後一陣子，他很積極的和我「創造宇宙繼起之生命」，
他想要孩子，從他不戴保險套的行為可以看得出來，
可是我還不想要，又怕他不高興，於是我背著他吃避孕藥。
猶記那時，他還興沖沖的帶我到醫院探視一名女性朋友，
她剛生完一個四千兩百公克的巨嬰，神色萎糜的躺在病床上。
我忘不了他隔著一塊玻璃看新生娃娃時，眼中綻放的神采，
可是我更忘不了，那位女性朋友用著虛弱的語氣告訴我，
她整整痛了一天一夜，才求醫生由自然產改為剖腹產。
我更不敢生小孩了。

五年後的今天，他似乎已經放棄生小孩這回事，畢竟只有他一頭熱是沒用的。
可是，待在他上班之後空洞的房子裡，我突然覺得生個孩子也不錯，
至少屋子裡會熱鬧點，我的寂寞，也會少一點。
他早就在數年前就開始用保險套了，我不清楚是什麼讓他改變心意，
不過這也鬆了我一口氣，我對避孕藥似乎過敏，
不論換什麼牌子最後都落得一個水腫的下場。
我猜他六百多度的近視加閃光，應該看不出我水腫前和水腫後有什不一樣，
重點是，他的保險套解決了我一個大麻煩，同時又帶來另一個新煩惱。
我現在想要一個孩子了，他卻似乎不想，我不知怎麼跟他開口。
更別提他頻繁的加班，晚上常累得倒頭就睡，
如果我再開這個口，似乎變相增加他的壓力。

兩個人之間，已經夠低潮了，不需要再增加一個會引起衝突的話題。
在我們戀愛的時候，他很喜歡帶我到淡水，坐在河堤旁看落日，沿著碼頭走一遭，
可以吃到不同口味的各式小吃。
淡水的海產頗富盛名，他似乎是隻識途老馬，總知道哪家是最道地的。
有時候，他帶著我坐渡輪到對岸的八里，那裡熱鬧的只有一條路
，賣的全是孔雀蛤，兩個人可以吃掉一大盤，還覺得意猶未盡。
他也會和我騎雙人腳踏車沿著淡水老街騎到淡海，再由淡海騎回來，
沿路的風景不算十分迷人，但有種質樸的味道，兼之海風鹹鹹的打在臉上，我很享受這種氣氛。
當然，坐在腳踏車後座的我三天打漁兩天曬網，
心情好的時候才踩兩下，他明知我偷懶，還是賣力的踩。
我很懷念，真的，即使過了五年，那段回憶仍然歷歷在目。

婚後到淡水的次數，除了新婚那一陣子，幾乎屈指可數，
近兩、三年更是一次都沒去過。
每到假日，他不到中午不會起床，我見他這麼疲倦，當然也不會煩他帶我到處走，
假日照理說，我和他應該可以有些交集，可是他累，我只能自己找事做，
和在上班工作的朋友出門逛逛街，聊聊是非，也順便埋怨一下他。
至於在家睡覺的他，午、晚飯，自己解決吧！

他不知道，在前幾個月，
我耐不住無聊，自個兒坐捷運到了淡水。
果然，太久沒有去了，那裡已經變成一個我完全不認識的地方。
河堤旁的小吃攤不見了，全部集中在捷運站附近，
過去我和他看夕陽的地方整修成一條長堤，僅供散步。
路面變得乾淨整潔固然是好，但是收藏著我和他美好記憶的地方，消失了。
沒有他的帶路，我找不到道地的海產店，找不到好吃的小吃，
自己一個人也騎不了雙人單車，但我驚訝的發現，淡水多了一個漁人碼頭，可以坐公車過去。
漁人碼頭，他的腳步沒有踏上過，我先了他一步，
這，是沒有他，只有我的經驗。

到了漁人碼頭邊，風景美復美矣，卻有種人工雕砌的做作。
我以為花了幾百元搭乘藍色公路可以到對岸八里，就像渡輪一般，
但那失了古風的遊艇卻繞了一大圈後又開回原點。
除了顛簸的船身搖得我頭暈目眩，我記不起來什麼美麗的風景，
連孔雀蛤也沒撈到一粒。淡水變了，我和他的回憶，也變了。
某個早上，我特地比他早起，煮了頓睽違已久的豐盛早餐給他。
然後，沒有第三者，沒有爭吵。
我遞出了離婚協議書。
那是我第一次看到他那麼震驚的表情，
如果那天是愚人節，
我想我成功了。

可是，我不會開那般惡劣的玩笑，他知道我是認真的。
他沒有像一般男人一樣，暴跳如雷，開始數落女方的罪狀；
也沒有哭哭啼啼，跪下哀求我留下，他只是極力冷靜自己的心緒
，默不吭聲的接下協議書，開門，上班，一如往常。
他或許也察覺我們的夫妻關係到了一個瓶頸，
也打算仔細考慮離婚的可行性，他近幾年的疏離，我沒有流下一滴眼淚，
可是他這天的冷漠，幾乎傾盡我五年的淚水。

我有些後悔，這後悔逐漸蔓延，以心臟為一個起點，
通傳至我的頭頂及腳趾。
但後悔又如何？不快刀斬亂麻，也只是拖著一個平淡如水的日子，
兩個人乾耗。
我不知道自己對他的愛剩多少，更不清楚他對我的愛剩多少。
嫁給他之前，我就知道他沈默寡言；
嫁給他之後，自以為能改變他的我，
並沒有改變多少。

我的愛，還不足以改變他，他的愛，亦不足以為我改變，這大概是關鍵所在。
柴米油鹽醬醋茶會摧毀愛情的甜蜜，我嚐到了，
但這卻是用五年換來的教訓。
趁現在，沒有孩子，沒有牽絆，
我也不貪圖他什麼，該是離婚最好的時機吧？

抖著手在離婚協議書上簽下名的我，到之後他出去幾個小時了，我仍然在發抖。
這是一種未知的惶恐，我，等他給我一個結果。
他冷淡了我五年後，又凌遲了我七天。
從離婚協議書交到他手上之後，整整一個星期，他不與我說一句話，
也睡了七天的沙發，每天仍然照常上下班，
除了更加冷淡，我感覺不到他的喜怒哀樂。
那張協議書，就算扔到垃圾筒裡，還會有觸動垃圾袋的聲音，
可是他，
一點聲音也沒有，我懷疑他根本不當一回事，
一段時間不理會我，只是在看我會不會自己忘了離婚這回事。

我受不了了，他到底要怎麼做？
連離婚，也要離得這麼漠然嗎？
然而，七天之後的他，結結實實嚇了我一跳。
一早，我聽到他在客廳起床的聲音，隔著門板聽不真切，
我卻一直等不到他出去上班的關門聲。
一陣乒乒乓乓的金屬撞擊，取代了他一向安安靜靜的作息，
我終於按捺不住起身察看，卻在開門後，聞到了一陣食物的香氣。

「起床了？吃點蛋捲。」他笑著，如新婚時我吻他之後那般淺笑。

我心裡狠狠跳了一下，原以為古井不波的情緒，因他久違的體貼而起了絲絲漣漪。
他還是那麼輕易的，可以撩動我的心。
我不清楚他怎麼可以混到九點、十點還不去上班，
他接收到我的疑惑，也只是淡然一笑，
身上簡單的服裝一點兒上班的氣息都沒有，
可能他，也有工作疲乏吧？
也可能……他要宣判了，關於那張離婚協議書。
看他神色自若的樣子，我默默吃著早餐，幻想著等一下他會說的話。
他會不會乾脆的就離婚了？還是，在我面前撕了協議書？
不可否認的，我的心，傾向後者。

「我升上經理了。」他的第一句話，出乎我意料，下一句話，
卻馬上進入重點，轟得我措手不及，

「工作上的事告一段落，現在要好好處理家裡的事。」

工作是排在家庭之前嗎？我苦笑。

「工作安頓好，我才能給妳安定的家。」他像在解釋我的疑惑，

「所以，告訴我為什麼要離婚？」他終於問了，臉色變得肅穆。

他從來沒有用過這種質疑的口氣與我說話，望著他難得的厲色，我竟一句話也說不出來。

「妳覺得我冷淡妳了嗎？」轉眼，他的態度忽而又變得自嘲，
弄得我丈二金剛，

「我就知道妳一個人在家老是胡思亂想……」我和他長談了一整天，數個小時的談話，
有五分之四的時間我是在哭的，

因為我覺得自己犯了一個滔天大錯。
可是，有些事，沒有那張離婚協議書，我永遠不會知道。
他說，五年來，他確實每天都是抱著我醒來，
只是後來他工作忙，起床時間變早，而我仍沈睡著，不知道罷了，
有時他還會親親我的臉，看著我貪懶的睡顏，他不忍心叫醒我。
而擺在盥洗室的漱口杯，他根本搞不清楚小叮噹是他的抑或Hello Kitty才是他的，
他以為粉紅色是女孩子的頻色，所以他一直用著小叮噹的嗽口杯。
原來，我們一直在無形間，做著親密的唇齒交流，
可憐了Hello Kitty，擺在那兒沒人用，成了個裝飾品。
早餐，他吃的都是7-11，他承認很想念我做的早餐，
可是他不好意思央我每天做給他，他知道我會擠盡腦汁變花樣，他捨不得看我太累。

「我娶妳，是希望妳享福，不是要妳來當女傭的。」

從他這句話開始，我便止不住眼淚。提到他的衣著，他更是笑我的傻，
他看得出來我會為他添新衣服，按顏色花樣在櫃裡整整齊齊的分類擺放，
而新婚時期我常幫他搭配，久了他也知道我的喜好，
什麼領帶配什麼衣服，他是為我而穿。
至於熱情的早安吻，每天他早在我熟睡間給我了，
我卻兀自鑽牛角尖，認為他不需要我的吻。

「你為什麼從不說你愛我呢？」我噙著淚水問他。

「我以為妳知道，否則我們為什麼結婚？」他理所當然回答。

是啊，我知道，我一直都知道，不然我不會嫁給他的，
可是，既然知道，我又何必強求他說出來？
女人都是需要一些愛語滋潤的，我想這就是理由，看著我控訴的眼光，
我想他也知道理由了。

「妳做的大菜，很好吃，可是那些菜費工夫，也不全是妳喜歡的，所以我寧可妳做些簡單的菜，最好是妳也喜歡吃。」

他一句一句的解釋，又讓我掉了一缸淚水，

「妳不喜歡吃辣，因此我要妳少放辣椒；妳不吃內臟，那我也不吃；妳怕胖，所以料理時我希望油加少一點；醬油鹽份高，吃多腎臟負擔大，為了妳我健康著想，調味即可，不必加太多。」

只要是我煮的，他都喜歡，想想他沒有一次不是吃光的，到底為什麼我會覺得抓不住他的胃？
所以，我也抓住了他的心嗎？
另一件令我驚訝的事，他真的知道台灣霹靂火的男主角是誰，
即使猜得不完全正確。

「是劉文聰嗎？還是那個李正賢？晚上在公司加班，同事都會開電視來看，所以我多少也知道一點。」

他撫去我臉上淚痕，笑問：「妳也在看嗎？」

「嗯。」我又想哭了，我真是小覷了那個節目的收視率。

「當上經理之後會比較少加班，那我們就一起看。」他說得輕鬆，我卻鼻頭一陣酸楚。

我在意的，其實不是看什麼節目，管他行政院長、立法院長是誰，
沒有他在身邊，看什麼都索然無味。
我發現，只要願意，兩個人什麼事都可以談，
連我跟他解釋台灣霹靂火的劇情，一路聊到整容話題，
他也聽得津津有味。
是我，是我封閉了自己，以為他不願意聽我說話、
不願意對我說話。
他心疼我一個人在家裡，聊公司裡的事怕悶壞我，
又見我一副不想搭理他的樣子，他每天只能摸摸一鼻子的灰。
無論他跟我說什麼，我都是愛聽的，可是我現在才讓他知道，
夫妻兩浪費了幾年的時間在這種誤解之間打轉，
他活該，我也活該。
聊到生孩子的事，他先是一陣默然。

「我想生一個孩子。」這時候，我有勇氣說出口了。

「我以為妳不想，剛結婚那一陣子，妳不是一直吃避孕藥？」難得聽到他有些怪罪的語氣。

進一步了解之後，我才發現，他一直知道我在吃藥──或許是我哪次把藥隨便擱在化粧台上，
被他看到了，他徹底了解我不想要孩子。
而他也知道，我吃完藥隔天會有水腫的現象，
身子骨纖細的我，一雙腳腫得跟象腿一樣，
也只有我這種人的鴕鳥心態才會認為他不會發現。
後來我養成習慣將藥好好放在抽屜中，他以為我不再吃，
怕身子水腫難受，所以他戴起保險套，說來說去，還是為了我。

「妳又水腫了嗎？一直哭個不停，是想把身體裡的水逼出來？」

他居然敢揶揄我？免不了得到我飽以老拳！
他還是想要孩子的，聽完我說想生孩子，他眼下興奮的光芒大大的告訴我這一點。
只不過，那抹光芒在閃爍之後隨即斂去，他又正襟危坐的問了我一個問題。

「妳真的想生？」

「想啊，我一個人在家好無聊。」

「只是因為無聊？如果一個人在家無聊，妳想出去學東西、去工作、和朋友去逛街，我不會阻撓妳。」

「你不是也想嗎？」我生氣了，縱然淚眼婆娑沒什麼說服力。

他開始說起那個四千兩百公克的巨嬰，
原來那名女性朋友的經驗不僅嚇到我，也嚇到他了。
他不希望我生孩子還要受極大的痛苦，
什麼剖腹產、自然產，他一點概念也沒有，
只知道一定會很痛。
他明白我怕痛，所以他捨棄了生孩子的想法。

「我不管，我要生。」明瞭了他的想法後，我更希望替他生一個孩子，身體裡流著我和他血液的孩子。

「那就生吧！」他悄悄的在我耳邊說了一句令我臉紅的話。

「你這麼有精力？不是上班很累嗎？」我狐疑他話裡的真實性。

經他解釋，我才恍然大悟，就算工作累，他偶爾也有慾望，
有時晚上摟著我，又看我睡得香甜，
這種看得到吃不到的痛苦，他只能鬱鬱的悶在自己心裡。
面對他的心意，我，真的無言了。
在我像兩顆水蜜桃的雙眼略為消腫後，他催我換衣服，帶我出門。
已經好久沒和他一起出遊了，在兩人間的冷淡破冰後，
坐在他身邊竟也給我當初戀愛的感覺。
我凝望著他專心駕駛的側臉，將他的動作姿態深深刻在心裡，
因為我差點忘了，我和他之間還橫著一個問題。那張離婚協議書。
我要一輩子記住他的模樣，如果他最後仍是簽了名。
可是，他應該不會簽吧？
否則，他何必和我討論生孩子的事……

「到了。」他停車，我也隨之下車。

海風迎面吹來，是淡水。
他也記得這個地方，這個我們記憶珍藏的地方。

「我一直想帶妳來，可是妳假日都和朋友出門，我只好蒙著棉被在家睡覺。」他如此說道。

這是個什麼烏龍？我體諒他工作累，他體諒我和朋友出門，
就這樣，我們錯過了一次又一次的相伴。

「你以後想幹什麼，可以直接說！」我惱火的盯著他。

「妳也是。」他正經八百的回視我，言下之意是要我別五十步笑百步。

說來也好笑，我們一直認為自己是在為對方著想，
以自己的方式去體貼對方，
這種自以為是卻導致了無數個陰錯陽差，
一直懷疑自己不愛他，他也不愛我了，
才驚覺這份愛並不是消逝，而是溶入了生活之中，
自然的讓人忘了它的存在。
愛情的表現，可以是黏膩、親熱、奉獻、祝福，甚至是退讓，
每個人的方式不同，會導致的結果各異。
我的方式是盲目的付出，他的方式是全然的關懷，
乍看之下兩個人都沒錯，可是無論什麼方式，
中間少了一種叫「溝通」的元素，就容易導致裂痕。
我們的婚姻，就是建築在這種缺乏溝通的空中樓閣之上，
嫁給這個男人五年了，我以為我漸漸的不愛他，
但只是一番簡單的剖白心意，我對他所有的愛再度復活,甚而轉濃。
女人會因男人長久的冷落而對愛情失望，
也可以因男人一句話又對愛情充滿希望，
我──不想和他離婚，一點兒也不想，當初硬著頭皮簽下名，
或許只是賭氣，只是要他正眼看看我，
可是……

「那、那張離婚協議書……」我要收回來。

「在公司裡。」他好整以暇，「公司的碎紙機裡。」這個意思是……？

「妳想離婚，等我成為亡夫時再說吧！」

我估量不出他說這句話是不是在開玩笑，不過他又騙到我的淚水。
他真的很愛我……即使他沒有說過。
我想，如果我堅持離婚，他會放我走的，他捨不得見我難過，
就像他見我掉淚又趕快摟住我一樣。
倘若，是他想離婚呢？
恕我自私，我是堅決不會放的，除非等我變成亡妻，
同樣因為他捨不得見我難過，我自信可以留住他。

「淡水整個都變了，我都快不認識了。」哄完了我，他連忙帶開話題。

「我來過，我知道有什麼景點。」

「那這次就要靠妳帶路囉。」

是啊，我們可以開創新的回憶，
只要有我也有他，什麼時間地點都不成問題。
結婚五年，我又發現了一次愛情。

2009-03-16T23:34:00.003+08:00

Taken from uncle johnson-ridiculous fact. =.="

Chu Kang ( PCK ) explaining sex to Chu Beng's son, Aloysius ........

Aloy : Why is making love so enjoyable ?
PCK : Aiyah, ah boy, enjoyable becoz o, same like when you dig your nose with your finger mah !

Aloy : Do you think women enjoy sex more than men ?
PCK : Of course woman lah ! When you dig dig your nose, your nose feel better than your finger, right ?

Aloy : Why do women hate it when they get raped ?
PCK : Ai-yah ! Say, you walk along the road, den someone come over and dig your nose, you like or not ? Ehhh ? Don't play play ah !

Aloy : Why is it a woman cannot have sex when she is having her menses?
PCK : Oy !! If your nose bleeding, you still go and dig meh?? Siow ah ! Use your blain, use your blainnn ...........

Aloy : Why is it most men don't like wearing condoms when they are making love ?
PCK : Ehhhh, when you dig your nose ah, you like to dig with a glove on your finger or not ? Not the same shiok feeling mah. Corlight or not?

Aloy : Why is making love carried out in private ?
PCK : Ah boyyyyy, use your blain, use your blainnnnn ............................. you go and dig your nose in flont of your whole class izit ?? Stupid lah!!

Aloy : Wah ...... Uncle Chu Kang, you are very good.
PCK : Aiyah ....... ,' Best in Singapore , JB, some say Batam

end of nonsense~

Chaos

2009-03-03T19:07:00.003+08:00

Thalassemia... Haih...another problem in my life. He is diagnosed with dis disease. Uncle chai n aunt ivy nvr noe dey hv dis kind of genes.. Autosomal recessive... She is too worried, n im afraid she'll think too much, worried too much. I told her if u tk gud care of him then everything will be ok. Iron chetation,blood transfusion.... too young 2be suffering dis way. haihz...STOP!!! Stop everything!! I had hv enuf!!!!!

2009-03-01T23:28:00.002+08:00

I went for injection 2day. 5 doses for me. I tot Dr. Liew will separate de course but she injected de vaccine into both my hands. Still hv 3 more doses for me..haihz... But dis time i didn't faint or dizzy or nausea, dat's a good news 2 me. haha... 2day is an important day as well - Pierre 1 year old birthday. Uncle rent a van 2 cum bc from s'pore. Simple n grand occasion =p. Nw only i realise how big my family pedigree were. Little cousins n nephew...

made by uncle as well

*yawn*

cake cutting ceremony

Uncle Siang =.="

He's really really cute!

The End~~

2009-02-28T12:31:00.000+08:00

我真的快疯了...我干嘛那么在意啊? 那是你自己的问题怎么又牵扯到我身上? 对于我从来没中伤过的你那样说我又是如何批判? 我真的从来就没那样说过你,你怎么一昧地任为呢? 我觉得好莫明其妙..你无中生有的功力也太强了..想像力也好丰富. 我到底哪一点得罪你啊? 我有什么想抢走你的啊? 我又说你什么啦? 我真是为你奥妙的想像力着謎,很想给你鼓掌.... 别糟蹋你的才华,去为艺术牺牲也总好过在这中伤我.. 你想证实事情的准确性那顺便在街上做问卷调查好了,我很乐意看你那么做,那你就不会一直乱想我做了什么,说了什么..也顺便在我身上装追踪器,看看我是不是像你说的那样,说你坏话啦,虚假啦,博取同情啦等等............ 如果你还是那么胡斯乱想的话,我真是败给你了.你很喜欢冤枉人那随你去好了.每个人都是有父母生的,想想他们知道自己的孩子这样被别人数落又会多么伤心. 不要以为平时我那么会说话就断定我是伤害人的那个. 静狗咬死人你该不会不知道吧? 你知道一直以来都是那一类人在乱说别人的闲话,那你干嘛把我说的跟他们一样? 我吃饱太闲吗? 我又不是嫌脑细胞太少而一直做些无聊的举动,真是受够你了! 我还有一大堆的事要帮忙,要烦,你以为每个小孩都是吃饱没事做的吗? 你以为只有你有脾气吗? 只有笨蛋才会在意你说的话,而我就是那个笨蛋!笨得无药可救..笨得好撤底...做人真是难到你想说又不能说,想做又不能做的地步了. 算了,算我倒霉认识一个连我自己都不知道该怎么面对的人. 其实让我觉的可怕的人是你. 在解释下去我觉得自己像个白痴似的,因为我从来没盼过你能明白.. 也请路人别探别人的私事,我怕弄伤你们的眼睛,要不然又被说我假惺惺.. 真是够了!!! 你去写剧本吧!!!! 在浪费下去我真的为你可惜.........我真的好烦!!!!倒霉透了!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-02-27T23:24:00.002+08:00

We went 2visit Pierre 2day. He's getting better but still hv 2 go thru blood test ish.... @_@

both his hands hv needles.

dey r posing ( see Melicia )

I squeeze in de small house

Pierre can discharge 2mrw. Hooray!!! ^_^

Pierre is hospitalized...

2009-02-26T19:43:00.001+08:00

He had fever for a week n diarrhoe.

his small hands r filled with needles....

I almost faint when seeing him go through de blood test. So many blood r taken by Dr. Soon.
Get well soon,Pierre~

2009-02-25T12:26:00.002+08:00

Miscellaneous..........

Food Asia '08

2009-02-24T16:06:00.003+08:00

taken from uncle kevy.

19-23Feb '09 Day3 and Day4 Vivo City & Sentosa Island

2009-02-24T14:36:00.005+08:00

Location : Vivo City & Sentosa Island

u can make ur wish here

I took dis photogragh secretly haha...

For more photos, kindly proceed to facebook. =)

19-23 Feb '09 Sg Day1 and Day2

2009-02-22T14:13:00.001+08:00

Location : Yishun and Bedok

Huiyang

eating free durian lol

Rochelle carries a tiny durian,juz as tiny as her.

Burger cake

Noodles cake

Watermelon cake

Uncle Kevy posing in front of bakehouse

de way she slept was so funny haha..

Rochelle

2009-02-18T23:55:00.001+08:00

Went BP Mall 2fetch Marcus n yumcha 2gether.

Going SG 2mrw...

2009-02-18T23:23:00.000+08:00

Memories resound in my head. I miss TIGS. I miss my drama team. I miss my buddies. 3yrs.... A long way to me... From a member to a president, from an actress to a technician until a director. I really learnt a lot of things there. The time we spent 2gether, laughed 2gether, did dozens of mischief 2gether, got scoldings 2gether. Wow, how time flew. I'll celebrate my 20-year-old bfday soon. U tell me, how am i going 2be happy with it?! =.= I rmb de time we melepak at kl during competition without Cik Zauriah 's permission. Wat a risk we took! I rmb we passed-by de terrifying road at JB, some weird sounds came out there. I rmb we skipped classes n i was so afraid teachers might find out dat we were painting de backdrop. I nvr noe i can be brave enuf 2go through those. When i became de nightingale, I envy those technician b4 coz dey dun hv 2go through heart palpitation process during competition. But after i quitted 2be an actress n took charge of technical system i regret. Finally I knew there's much much more responsibilities n stuffs 2be taken by technician. Sound effect,backdrops,lighting system,costumes,make-ups, n etc. Then i started 2understand how stupid I was. But nvm i enjoyed myself very much when i was an actress. Haha..I experienced de feelings of winning n losing. We were able 2reach national level. I was touched. Ok, I admit dat I'm emotional but i juz can't help de tears from falling. When seeing maria,shireen,hani n jas were so sad bout de result I was extraordinary calm. I dunno y. I knew we might face de failure 1 time but not dis time. Dat's really de 1st heartpain in my life. Being in a bestari school, u'll oways hv a doubt either in urself or teachers. U r doubtful teachers doted u due 2 ur good achievement or dey r really care bout u. But...it doesn't matter. Wat's de point of thinking dat much nw???! =.=" Thx for de memories...thx. It's time 2send u go.... I dunno y i become so emotional 2nite. Ok,it' s time 2slp my blog. Gudnitez...........

2009-02-16T14:21:00.002+08:00

Read an article few days ago. It said Insulin is a new possible new treatment for Alzheimer's, it helps 2shield neurones from exposing to ADDLs ( amyloid beta-derived diffusible ligands) - It is known to attack memory-forming synapses. After ADDL binding, synapses lose their capacity 2respond to incoming information, so resulting in memory loss. Insulin works as inhibitor 2prevent ADDLs from binding with neurone receptors. Therefore, it reduces de actual number of ADDL binding sites, which in turn resulted in a marked reduction of ADDL attachment to synapses. ( I guess it's about competitive inhibition.) However, sensitivity to insulin can decline with aging. The Namenda ( Alzheimer's drug) only partially protect neurone against the effect of ADDLs. In Alzheimer's disease, when ADDLs bind to nearby neurons, they cause damage from free radical n a loss of neuronal structures which is crucial to brain function. Now the problem is ADDLs bounds to synapses remove insulin receptors from nerve cells. So, it only found out that remove ADDL receptors may determine whether a person develops Alzheimer's disease. I sincerely hope that dey will find out a cure for dis disease. Keep fighting for de research team!!! =)

2009-02-15T23:05:00.003+08:00

Went The Summit 2day. Pappy performed his pro singing talent again. lol...
Took dinner at Tako Hut.

Pappy is singing haha

wandering without purpose

Okonomiyaki... *thumbs up*

c de shirt he's wearing

my warm honey lemon

Happy Day!!! ^^

Maze

2009-02-12T12:49:00.003+08:00

Such a weird dream I hv had. I'd made de dream twice. De same location when i was left...de same ppl n i was lost there. I met dem at de strange place. But dis time i wasn't afraid coz i made de dream b4. I tried 2get out of there 2find somewhere dat i familiar wit. Then i find joyce there. When i woke up from my dream i found out dat my mouth was bleeding. Maybe i bite myself in de dream. Mommy said i was too stressful. Hope dat i wont make dis dream again~~~I dunwan 2 lost myself. It was too scary....

2009-02-11T19:46:00.004+08:00

Finally settle all de application forms. Stupid RHB nids 2charge so much. =.=" Phew~ went out wit parents 2 kai kai...

Nelson is so chubby

Lunch at 同心缘

my Stitch!!! =)

2day is mommy's bfday. Happy birthday mommy!!!! Luv u oways....

2009-02-10T01:59:00.003+08:00

Aunt Kim 's hse broke in by those stupiak thieves. Dey r really BAD!!! I hate dem!!! Wat made my anger burnt were those "gentle" cops. Effeciency? Enthusiasm? Effectiveness? Yup, dey hv none of dem. Dey made a round in de hse...asked a few questions...took a few photographs. Dey dun even wear gloves when taking fingerprints. WTxxx... dun dey hv de common sense? Maybe shud ask dem 2 watch more Conan or Hajime Kindaichi or Sherlock Holmes movies i guess. Btw, making police report is a waste. Everybody says so. I was curious when i wasn't mature enuf but nw i understood. Ya, it's a waste. N i dun hv 2 say why. But when u get used to something, u might be surprised dat u r not dat care anymore. I wont put de blame, it's time 2 admit dat since i live here. Ya, right here. A place wit no equal treatment 2anyone. Fair??? Wat a laugh...

2009-02-07T15:57:00.003+08:00

Im going mad!!! I oways knew dat we r very

different

from each other.

De way we r, de movie we like, our personality,

weaknesses, de songs

we like, de way we walk n even de air we breathe.

I kept trying 2 care bout u, wan u 2 be happy but

wat i did r all in vain.

U nvr think from my side...push de blame 2 me.

Say im fake.

Sometimes it makes me wondering do u really hate me

dat much?

When I am happy, u r oppositely sad.

When i ask u y, U say u r ok.

But wat i saw is totally different from dat.

U tell me, wat shud i do

2make u feeling better? Am i ur fren?

Or im juz a failure?

Im not suppose 2 get around wit u all de time rite?

Or im de dust u annoy?

Everything changed.. I nvr expect u 2change at all.

Coz i really treat u wit all my heart ..sincerely...

I really hope dat u can understand

im not de type dat wat others hv told u.

Coz im not very good in expressing myself in words.

Im afraid u misunderstand dat i hate u.

Ironically,de things do happens. U sense it, feel it urself...

Do u really think i treat u as an outcast?

When im lending u my hands u refused.

I am stupid, im hurt of thoundsand times n u'll nvr noe.

I oways pretend

like nothing has happened, like u nvr do any hurt in me.

I tolerate as much as i could,

trying 2think from ur position. I hv made alot of

guess. Maybe u r shy, maybe u r juz not get used 2 my lifestyle,

maybe u dunno how 2 express urself,

maybe u r pessimistic n maybe im really

a bad gal so u hate me. If u hv any doubts u can express it

n u tell me directly. Stop playing de guessing game anymore.

I'd hv enuf.... Im sure u noe de feeling of tired.

Im tired, exhausted n maybe corrupted...

Im relieved nw im far from u.

I hv 2 clear out my mind at least in a

short period of time.

I'll pray n pray. Blessed u wit happiness n freedom.

Dun think so much

again. Friendship 4eva~~~

2009-02-05T03:18:00.004+08:00

2nd hand books selling day!!!

Nvr expect 2 hv students crowd at all but it did hv during their break.
Peak hour haha...

our memories

Red Island Cafe ( sucks again!!! )

Yumcha wit duong hung,zhe,amy n Edward =p

waiting 4 tako

Yumcha at Platinum walk dunno wat Classic Coffee station ( i guess so)
Members attend : Kliang, Vana, Smei, Amy, Zhe, Yen

onion hairstyle..lol...

Reched home at 2am sumthn.
Sleepy day. After reached pv im exhausted but unable 2 slp. =.=

To be continued...

2009-02-03T23:17:00.006+08:00

1st station- Tarc
Took our A lvl ori cert n got my breakdown result. Sucks!!! Gonna kill myself but as im a sensible person, i wont do dat haha... We wasted our precious time juz in waiting 4 someone haihz... So postpone our book selling plan to 2mrw.

2nd station- Pavilion
Simply bcoz we hv nothing 2 do. =p

Having high tea at Zen.

mini mud chocolates n flat white

yummy yummy cakes

our dinner

Back home safe n continue our game time.

To be continued....

2009-02-02T22:58:00.003+08:00

Wake up quite early 2day in de morning. We hv planned 2 watch movie yesterday but dey both r not so sure whether can make it anot. Geram when suddenly decided 2 go but then not n then 1na go again. =.=" toying me.... I hv my wonderful time while watching Bride Wars. Kate Hudson n Anne Hathaway r de casts in dis movie. Funny n meaningful movie. I've learnt a lesson too. Kinda touching~~ =) Tk my dinner at wangsa maju wit da jie.

To be continued.....

2009-02-01T22:05:00.002+08:00

Going 2 Jun Hao 's hse. It's de 1st time i meet his sister. So scary when taking lunch at de same table wit dem. Haha... His dad teaches us 2play mahjong but i still hv no idea wat's so fun 2 play mahjong. So complicated n bored... =p
n he has a doggy,scary... Gigantic n ferocious.

ferocious doggy

2009-01-31T23:57:00.003+08:00

Going back to KL 2day. Follow my uncle n sister. I am home again!!! Juz drop by 2tk dine at Noodles House. Still left 40++ days for chee jie 2 cum bc from Melbourne. Hey,chee jie. Stop teasing me ar,u dis bad cheezy bacon de kaola. lol... =p Knowing dat u r suffering 2 bring down ur mentality level when dealing wit us. But as a matter of fact,so do we. Haha...bored~~ Boredom begins 2magnify when im at home. I cant sleep. Hate!!! K,enuf crapping. @@

2009-01-31T02:43:00.003+08:00

Uncle suggests 2 pay a visit to 舅公 house at Labis. One hour journey from my home...We bring Pierre n Aunt Ivy along. I think my stomach is going 2 burst if i keep eating these few days. OMG!!! I dun 1na gain weight. No more delicious food plz...or else i'll bcum a meatball. Papa n uncle sing karaoke haha. So funny! Having fun there very much. However,time swifts faster than i've thought. We hv 2 go bc in de still of de nite. Gudbye 舅公。=)

tasty Syrah..thumbs up!!!

my cute cute Stitch

To be continued.....

2009-01-29T22:11:00.004+08:00

年初四
Whole family went 2tk sushi lunch. 1st time go wit family haha..kinda weird. Went 2 do some shopping since joyce invited her friends 2hv a gathering at home. Ya,steamboat again!!! =.=lll
Dey gambled until late midnite n i played my game. Boring gambling stuff. tsk tsk...
We celebrated Melby 's 10-year-old bfday. Happy day... ^^

playing poker

Melby

see wat izit??

Michelle was sleeping soundly..zz...

2009-01-28T23:28:00.002+08:00

Took dinner at Hong Yun restaurant.

even eating oso playing NDS.. =.="

my cousin Pierre...he has a pair of small charming eyes hehe.

To be continued....

2009-01-27T18:37:00.001+08:00

Ok,2nd day of cny. Went grandmom 's hse 2 hv steamboat 2gether. We brought rochelle there. she's so cute,dancing along wit uncle. Oh ya,2day is zhe's bfday. Hapie bfday boy haha...Grow up faster plz. =p

2009-01-26T01:53:00.003+08:00

HAPPY LUNAR NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!!! Wish my

family and all my friends showered wit happiness

and joy. All de best in dis moo moo year..... Moo....

2009-01-25T21:36:00.002+08:00

CNY eve. Many performances at BP Mall. Wow...

dey r from china

really worried bout dem haha.

so cute rite?

acting cool but disgusting

To be continued...

2009-01-22T23:55:00.002+08:00

Yeah, if u think im heartless then juz go on. It's not i wan or dunwan, is bcoz i really dun hv such kinda of feeling. I noe u understand but somehow u seems like dun wish 2understand. I dunno wat's in ur mind since dat day...i really wish i noe. Coz im suffering too. I c ur changes n im relieved but after all dis while u tell me u r not treating me as ur normal fren?? I dunno wat 2say. Im wondering n thinking...maybe u r right sometimes. But forgive me 4 letting u disappointed again n again. It's not easy 2 let it go rite? I wish i noe dis feeling.. I wish i can meet someone who gives me dis kind of feeling. Until de day dat wat u've told me i can understand it without a doubt. I appreciate it. Thx.... May u showers wit bless n luv. I really understand, im not a kid anymore...

Hao's wedding ceremony

2009-01-18T12:22:00.003+08:00

Went Yong Peng 2attend Hao's wedding ceremony. Juz half an hour from my hse. He looked handsome at dis important day.=p Ong came 2fetch us there so pappy can tk some wine.