I can't help it.......

I admit~
I am scared to be alone.
I always scared to be alone.
2day I'm alone again.
Roommate went back 2days ago.
A day is long like a year~
Every second is damn hard 2 pass~
Help!
I don't want to be alone~
I'm depressed.
Nobody is at home.
No matter how loud de music is playing,
Or how loud de drama series is playing,
I'm still scared ...
Can somebody talk to me?
It's so quiet now.
I can't help not 2 cry.
I hate crying.
I hate de weak side of myself.
When I listen to her voice n listen to his voice,
My tears still dropping unstoppably.
But I hide it ,
I don't really want them 2 know that I'm weak~
Though I really am ,
And I always are~
Why I'm so coward ?
Why I can't stay alone just for a few days ?
Can somebody tell me why ?
I always telling myself must grow up ,
Can't be too dependent~
But I failed~
I FAILED ...
How 2 cease de feeling of scary ?
How 2 comfort myself dun be depressed ?
How 2 stay a night without anybody talking to me ?
I know I'm not independent.
But I really wanna get rid of dis shortcoming.
I really want to ...
Woke up almost 5 times when I slept.
Sense of security is fading away~
I can't help it.
Can't concentrate in studies at all,
I can't help it.
Trying not 2 disturb anybody,
I can't help it.
I really miss u now~
I can't help it ..............

能不能让泪水停止？

27 Nov - 30 Nov '09 Happiness is just that simple

27 Nov '09

Early in de morning I'm forced 2wake up due to Solat subur by Muslim. =.="
I wish 2sleep but I can't. *angry*
Dragging my "unconscious" body into de car n off we go to BP.
All de way long, i tried 2open my eyes big enuf so da jie won't feel bored in dis 3hrs journey.
Finally, we took a rest n had our lunch at Ayer Keroh.
After took some sips of coffee, Oh my spirit comes back! XD
Enjoy seeing de scenery outside- The Evergreen =)
At last, we are homed~
Warm welcomed by Malcolm & his family.
My Brownie is getting more adorable now.
Luv her luv her...
Joyce comes back too.
So 2day is our family outing.
Went kaikai (jalan2) n tk dine 2gether.
Oh life, Oh life! Happiness is just dat simple.

28 Nov '09

Shopping with family.
Another simple yet enjoyable day 2me.
Whole day yao che hor with dem.
Having buffet with da jie, pappy n mummy~
Joyce gotta go back 2day.
Just spent a day with her.Sigh~

29 Nov '09

Sunday~ Yes! Sunday. 2day is Sunday!
Gonna follow da jie back KL since she's driving alone.
Pappy will nvr stop worrying about her.
So mummy n I accompanied her back.
Massive traffic jam on highway.
Sien arh~
We thought of de last resort- hv a stay at cousin's hse at Seremban.
The way to seremban still jam..jam jam..
But is not peanut butter. *lame jokes learnt from Prof. Kang* =p
3hrs juz to reach seremban OMG!
However, being able 2 see vivian n sinny has win it all hehe.
Dey r oways indulging themselves in works.
Went 2 a famous restaurant in Seremban 2tk our dine.
Yummy yummy~
I guess I'd gain myself at least 2kg dis month. T_T
But thinking of de mouth-watering foods made me 4get about those unnecessary things.
Unquenchable desire in foods has killed me! Haha...

30 Nov '09

Another day in Seremban~
2day we gotta go back BP by bus.
Bought 2 Transnational bus tickets.
De driver is sucks man...
When I asked him izit de same company as SKS,
Then he said "U tengok kan bawah ade tulis, jgn nampak saje tulisan besar."
=.=" Why shud I deserve dis ill treatment from him?
I asked him politely.
Then I told mummy,
There are 2types of ppl in dis world.
De 1st type is though dey r not wealthy,dey r humble
So I respect them.
But de 2nd type is no matter how wealthy or powerful dey r,
Dey r arrogant, dey r rude to ppl,
Dey r still rubbish 2 me.
It's de way we think dat resulting in our action.
It shapes our temperament.
I hope u can understand.
Well, things come around goes around.

22 Nov - 26 Nov '09 Holidays~

M 1st station is Times Square & Pavilion.
1st day 1st station my "after EOS" Break begin~ XD
Seeing christmas spree, I feel like wanna join dem too.
Hope dat dis year I wont hv a bored-to-dead christmas. *wink*

Jingle bell..jingle bell...

taking pic in de rain~

Our lunch at Penang Village~


High tea at Starbucks~



2nd day with Melody & Amy~
Movie session - A Christmas Carol 3D
Scary movie haha...







Lunch at Ichiban Sushi,Pavilion~

Cute Melody "act cute" ing =p

3rd day sing K with ah Jane & Jas~
Nite went GK 2 hv a stay..
Yeah! Finally can hv a nice sleep after torturing myself for 2weeks. =p
Good da jie knew dat I'm not brave enuf 2sleep alone.
Creepy~ @_@



4th day KLCC with Winnie~

Lunch at Burger King alone.
Spend my time reading novel there~
Ooowh~ I oways wish dis happiest moment 2 come.
I spent almost 3 hours at Kinokuniya 2search for myself some new books.
Well, my bookstore has recruited some new members. *happy*
Dinner at Imperial Chakri Palace.
Nice but expensive... O.O









We saw many japanese students hanging around in KLCC with their school uniform.
Big gang loiterring here n there~ Speaking n laughing with their very own japanese language. XD
Dey gathered in front of de exhibition hall. Magnificient scene wei.. Haha...

playing around in Toys world~

yummy vege~ =)

Thai style softshell crab *thumbs up*

white pepper tomyam soup ^^

2mrw will heading bc hometown 2 c my cute puppies~
Hi, all! Here I come~ ^^

Finally~
The ending of EOS..
Recalling bc de dreadful scene during last 2 weeks.
Sigh~
Coffee has nvr abandon me.
Struggling in studies.
Gen chem, genetics, human bio...
Wat de hell am i going 2memorise all these?
I wish i would hv 1 terabyte of external hard disc inserted in my brain,
So that i dun hv 2 worry whether i nid 2 revise those notes twice or even more.
It's very contradict with wat i've oways thought.
Since i'm sensible.
But somehow whenever de stress is coming,
I can't help not 2imagine "nvr-going-to-happen" stuff.
Juz making myself 2 feel better I guess.
Haha...
Speaking of exam,
I failed 2 go bc hometown.
I can't meet up my old frenz.
I'm longing 2 c dem,
But..but I know wat's much more important right in front of me.
Human being is oways selfish.
I wonder am i de same stereotype?
I oways able 2comfort myself that "It's okay,everyone will do de same thing too."
Sorry,frenz...
I really miss u all.
May our path will cross again in de fututre.
I truly believe that "Once frenz forever frenz."
=)
Be good everyone~

Hang out with amy yesterday to watch G force 3D max. Super fun wei.. XD
All the hamsters are too cute~ especially Darwin the genius.
Bought myself a new spec... Sad 2 say so, I'm going 2bankrupt. T_T
By de way, oct is coming! Haha, dat's mean my income will reach soon~
Thinking of reports n studies... A big SIGH~
Can de time juz stop 4 a moment 2allow me 2get all my works done?
Can it be possible?
I guess I'm not the only one who is daydreaming now.
Pathetic pathetic pathetic... *shaking head*
Library is damn cold now.
Making de atmosphere more comfortable 2 have a cat nap.
In fact, I'm combating against the sleepiness now.
What a significant mission I've done. =p
Thinking of a fren now...
Ooops! speak of the devil, the devil shall appear.
He's juz few rows of tables away from me.
Rajin betul budak tu...
Kay, stop crapping.
Gonna rajin bersama-sama juga.
Get back to u later,Stitch paradise~ ^^

Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri, everybody!!!
Dis raya I was oways in a rush.
Followed papa 2visit datuk datin n my frenz.
Dis year I can't really feel the atmosphere of raya.
Most of them want 2cut cost so u can c de dreadful scene from the way dey decorated n de food served. XD
Finally, I stepped into Mutiara 's hse again.
I miss there pretty much...
Recalling the 1st time I got lost in her hse coz it's too big n complicated.
Her hse was overcrowded...
When passing by her swimming pool, it reminded me of my bfday too.
U know wat?
Dey threw me into swimming pool during my 18yrs old bfday.
I was shocked coz I didn't know how 2 swim at all.
By de way, I knew dey mean me no harm haha.
I was touched coz dey drew me a shirt themselves.
Sorry, I kept saying them them..
Dey r tiara n jas.. My high school besties. =)
Happy n longing to c them again.
But I lost contact with jas.. sigh~
Miss amni too. Guess she'll be busy learning language in korea.
Poor her~ can't even come back n celebrate raya with family.
My whole day gone with de raya celebration.
Heard some rumours from high school too.
Heard dat mariah transfered to SDBL.
Shocked!
Heard dat Pn. Rozanah undergone lipo-suction.
Shocked!
Heard dat sabrina changed damn lotsa uni few months ago.
Shocked!
Dat's de moment I feel dat I'm home~
Mixing n loitering with them.
Again~
How time flew...
20yrs passed ...
Everyone is searching their own way.
Some people get lost in de path.
Some peaople struggling in their life.
Some people is able 2 find their ownself.
Exhausted ...
Met many old frenz 2day.
Dey r still de same.
Only I'm de one who has changed.
But for them, I'm still me.
De gal dey've met de 1st time we shake hands.
Sigh~
Frenz...
I miss u all .....

Been in IMU for 69days. What significant things have I done in these 69days? Nope.. I guess not at all. I have nvr been do something worth or useful so far. Keep idling my precious time with nonsense and laziness. Gosh! What can I do? I don't really settle down myself yet in 69days. I'm a weakling. ='( My brain doesn't function in the way that I want. Sad to say so~ Dr. Keng keep telling me not to think negatively, but I know everybody is hard to persuade themselves, so do I isn't it? Well, just wanna share some of my frenz' pics here. Oh time, oh time!

This is peyling n zhenghao. Dey both are adorable.

dey r all my classmates. ^^

this is Fabian,our cute batch rep. Funny too~

our silent drama (communication session)

Sara- our female batch rep. She's nice too~

See! My classmates r cute!

During english magic show.. In de process of dismantling our magic box. ='(

KK, he's de cutest guy dat I pampered of. XD

Liangkuan with me during first aid training. A memorable day 4 all of us. =)

Well, an emotional day to me. I have to rekindle my spirit of fighting~ Yenzi, pappy n mummy will oways love u. Dun let them worry about u. I tell myself~ Gonna work gonna work!

Broga Hill climbing programme~
I woke up extraordinarily early 2day... Around 4am. Can u believe it? The night b4 I was extremely tired of searching some musics. Reluctant 2wake up when alarm rang n woke me up.... Dragging my body 2washroom. Dajie n amy were still in their nice,sweet dream. =.=" Kay,Alvin came n fetched us there. Wow!
Words can't really tell much here, so u guys juz enjoy the pictures n make ur own story. =p

taken at 5am

To be continued~